My journey with sorority life starts in high school. Whether I saw videos on TikTok or Instagram, it seemed like most girls in college were in this mysterious club called a sorority. I didnât even know what a sorority was, and to be completely honest I still don’t know everything.
As a high school girl, I watched from the outside as girls showed their rush outfits, formal dresses, or even the philanthropy events they were hosting. Those girls were always having fun with their friends. That sisterhood bond inspired me as I had changed schools a few times, and struggled.
Was I one of those girls? Could I join a big group of girls? How does someone even go about rushing? Would I even get in? My friends told me I should just try it out, sign up, and see what happens. Those small words of encouragement convinced me to sign up for formal recruitment at Northeastern University.
Fast forward to my second year of college, starting my first semester at the Boston campus. I was one of the students in the London-Oakland program, and while I got to experience more of the global campus, I felt more anxiety coming to Boston having never lived here before. To help ease my anxiety, I pushed forward to join clubs and reach out to more people. The anxiety of rushing a sorority was still present. So I did what any good friend would do, and convinced my friend Sarah to rush with me. If I was going to go through this terrifying new experience, I should at least be able to commiserate with someone, right?
In the first week on campus, I was sitting at the student center eating lunch with my friends. The only topic on hand was rush that weekend. Somehow thereâs already an orientation module I was behind on and I didnât understand the process of âformal recruitmentâ. The most important thing for the weekend wasnât chosen yet: my outfits. Sarah and I were freaking out at the table, looking at the âoutfit inspoâ for all 4 days of recruitment. Sarah checks each instagram, seeing if there was any more information, why hadnât I thought of that.
My anxiety was asking if I would even make it past the first day, let alone to the fourth where I needed a formal dress. My roommate sitting at the table with us starts laughing, as she isnât rushing and finds our anxiety amusing.
If youâre rushing that weekend, your entire life revolves around it. If youâre not, you think the whole process is crazy. Theyâre probably right, I seemed crazy. This process is something that is consuming all my thoughts.Â
The crippling anxiety was only heightened when it came to orientation day. The numbers for recruitment are somehow the largest in Northeasternâs history. 1,100 girls are all trying to get into the select number of sororities. My palms were sweating as we lined up outside the auditorium. There were so many girls, and I felt unsure of myself.
Looking back at my recruitment, I can say that the speech on orientation night was inspiring to hear about the sorority experience. The speaker, Jamie Jones Miller, spoke to us about how she was also unsure about joining a sorority in college. How she felt like she wouldnât fit in, and she didnât know much about sororities. This was almost exactly how I felt. She went on to talk about what a strong career sheâs had, and how much being in a sorority helped her thrive in those difficult situations. Leaving orientation, I realized so many potential new members were in the same unsure situation. And yes, almost every girl I spoke with asked about outfits.Â
On the other end of the process, here is some advice I have for girls rushing- After turning down plans all week and having an early Friday night, the 7 a.m. wake-up for the first round of recruitment wonât be horrible. Youâll have laid out your jeans and top the night before, and the nerves will rise by the minute.
I called Sarah three times that morning to ask about my hair, makeup, and outfit, and we freaked out together. I also woke both my roommates up to help. I wouldnât have made it through the entire recruitment process without unwavering love and support from the people around me. I was a disaster that weekend, and thatâs okay.Â
Then, that morning you will find your group of 50ish girls, youâll line up outside each sorority’s room, alphabetically, single-file. Youâre going to be sweating, shaking, and debatably nauseous. Nervously, I reapplied deodorant before almost every single round, and perfumeâŠand lipgloss as if it would be armor against such a scary process. This was honestly the most nerve-wracking part of each round, even on the final meeting of day four.
Pro-tip: get to know the girls on each side of you, there is a chance that youâll be paired up with them. You walk into the room, and youâre paired up with an active member to get to know each other. Once you get in the room, hereâs my interpretation of what youâll need to know:Â
- Nobody really cares about your outfit, or even your makeup. They also wonât be able to smell you, no matter how bad you THINK you smell.
- You will have to SCREAM at your discussion buddy so they can hear you, and they still probably wonât. Youâll have to get really close, and still, youâll lose your voice from screaming. Â
- If youâre in a pair, thereâs a high chance you wonât be able to hear either person.Â
- If all else fails, keep yapping. This is a yapathon. Ask a million questions. Talk about your family, friends, dog, aspirations, favorite foods, hobbies, anything.Â
- You will be asked what made you want to join a sorority. Have an answer. You will be asked if you have any questions for them. Again, Have an answer before.
After a few rounds of meetings, I realized how fun this process was. It was easy to get into a routine, introducing yourself, and the same few questions getting to know each girl. The most tiring part was waiting nervously all day in between rounds. The best part of it was the friends I made in the process.
The girl standing behind me was someone I didnât know at the beginning of that day and is now one of my good friends. By halfway through the day, we were deliriously tired together and singing 2000s songs to try and stay awake.
By the end of the day, the TWELVE-hour day you have to endure, we were all seeing stars. Going through so many 20-minute rounds, I felt exhausted. The worst part of that night was waiting to see what sororities would call you back the next day, the anxiety was crippling.Â
Although there were many fun moments of rush, the cons still remained.
The first day, I didnât feel like the conversations were long enough to feel a connection. I didnât understand what the immediate feeling I was supposed to justâŠknow MY sorority. While I really enjoyed some meetings, the whole day was over-stimulating and I left feeling confused. Day two, with all the anxiety, I couldnât get dressed.
At 7 a.m. again, exhausted, I called all my friends, stole my roommate’s clothes, went to get my schedule, saw how everyone else was dressed, came homeâŠcalled my roommates again, and finally went to my first meeting. I wasnât shocked with who called me back and felt lucky I had all eight meetings.
After that first meeting I was sweating and uncomfortable, so I came back home to change, one more time. I called my mom for reinforcements at that point. The moral of the story is, to wear what youâre comfortable in, not what you think people will be wearing.Â
After that exhausting weekend, the most anxiety-inducing part begins. We were waiting an entire week between days two and three to hear which sororities called us back. That week the sorority rush process had consumed half my thoughts, and I didnât know what I wanted.
Sure, I definitely had a feeling about some sororities, but I didnât want to get my hopes up and then feel absolutely crushed if I was dropped. But I did pick up a new mentality, that I was just going to be me, and if that wasnât enough then it didnât matter. I didnât change my outfit 3 times, and actually stuck with the first one. Oh, and I brought cough drops to hopefully bring my voice back in between meetings.Â
Finally getting my schedule back the next week, I felt confused. Some sororities I thought I had good conversations with dropped me, and ones I thought I didnât have great conversations with called me back. I know this story is the same for so many people, and it is really discouraging in the moment. This day was the most tiring for me, as it was five long meetings, and I know this was a day a lot of girls withdrew from the process.
I still had fun at most meetings. When submitting my preferences for the final Sunday, I felt conflicted. I couldnât make a decision. I really clicked with some people in a few sororities. Choosing a place after such few interactions was difficult for me, so I went with my gut. I can say now that I do not regret the decisions I made that day, it led me to the sorority I am in now.
I genuinely enjoyed both of my conversations on Preference Day, and I had fun putting on a fancy dress for the day. Getting to bid day, I felt the anxiety of wanting my top sorority, and I was one of the lucky girls who opened the envelope and got it. âRunning homeâ was, like the rest of the experience, overwhelming yet fun.Â
The reality of rushing is that sometimes your good friends will get dropped, or even you will get dropped by sororities you wanted and thought that you had good conversations with. It can also feel random where you get called back and where you donât.
Talking to numerous people after the formal recruitment process, I can say if itâs meant to be it will be. If you donât get into the sorority you wanted, it says nothing about who you are or your character. So many people can get down on themselves or their conversations but I want to emphasize that being in a sorority does not define you.
The formal recruitment process was one of the most exhausting and exciting experiences I have gone through in college so far. Everyone I know, in a sorority now or not, made friends along the way: and that is why I highly recommend it!