Ah, Thanksgiving. A time for family, Black Friday deals, and, of course, a lot of food. As we all know, however, some of that food is a lot better than its peers. Here’s the countdown for this Thanksgiving:
7. The Mysterious Casserole Your Aunt Brought
What is it? What’s in it? What’s that smell? The world may never know, but you have to eat it if you want keep harmony at your Thanksgiving table. It changes every year, but always remains the same level of gross. Your Aunt will talk about the recipe for about 25 minutes uninterrupted and then promise to send it to every single female member in your family.
6. Turkey
Why does everyone lose their shit over the turkey? It’s the focal point of the entire meal, but let’s be honest, it’s NOT THAT GREAT. Turkey is dry and takes way too long to make to ever be worth it. And then the question of “who’s the manliest man” gets asked when considering who should cut the turkey, which is just an eye-roll in itself. Boycott turkey! Make me a chicken instead!
5. Cranberry Sauce
This one is truly a toss-up. Are you getting homemade cranberry sauce, or the giant canned block? I always got the latter, so I’m a bit iffy on cranberry sauce. Also eating cranberry sauce on its own is very bizarre so please don’t do that. But as a support player, cranberry sauce just brings the whole meal together.
4. Freshly Baked Bread Rolls
Have you ever truly seen real beauty until you’ve seen butter melting over a warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven bread roll? There is definitely salivation when your mom puts these bad boys out on the table. And then as soon as you reach for one, she slaps your hand and tells you “not to fill up on bread,” like damn, what did you put them out for then?!
3. Mashed Potatoes
I love and honor potatoes in all forms: french fries, tater tots, baked potato, chips; but the classic mashed potato is a Thanksgiving favorite. It’s so easy to forget all the racist and ignorant things your family has shared on Facebook once you have a nice scoop of buttery mashed potatoes in front of you!
2. Pumpkin Pie
Incredible. An all-around crowd pleaser. Pumpkin pie looks as good as it tastes, and I’m sure that’s why it graces so many Thanksgiving instagrams. The only reason Pumpkin Pie comes in second is after eating one piece you have simultaneously gained 10 pounds and also feel like you’re ready to die. But it would be a sweet death.
1. Stuffing
The best of the best; the reason that I show up to my uncle’s house in the middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania every year. Truly, my reason for existence. Maybe it’s because we only eat it once a year and thus I literally count down the days, because otherwise I’m not really sure why this weird mixture of breadcrumbs and other mysterious ingredients is so good. But you can definitely catch me this Thanksgiving stealing some from my relatives to take home in tupperware I shoved in my purse. Happy Holidays!