The Bro Blog… On College Relationships And The Future

Welcome to the Bro Blog!!!
We have 4 pages of bro opinions on the future and what it means for college relationships!!! This week, they all seem to agree!
Check them all out  and enjoy:)

Looking for a specific blogger? Click on their names to navigate to their post!
J.P. Bowgen
Mike Mallazzo
Northwestern Guy
Ben Shartar

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There is no template for a college relationship. People claim that they’re more mature and ready to handle a more committed relationship, but is that true?

 It’s a case-by-case thing, but college presents complications to any relationship. High school was more cut and dry. Students were living under their parents’ roofs and for the most part rules were enforced. A relationship could only develop to a certain extent.

But college is no-holds-barred. The rules have completely changed. If either party is not ready to commit, things can get ugly. Relationships can develop to be more intimate and comfortable than they had been in high school, but communication and openness are more essential. So, a college boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t for everyone.

College fast paced and attention is constantly split between the next homework assignment or the upcoming fraternity party. Students’ plates are filled to the brim and show no sign of being emptied.

Unfortunately, plenty of college students look down on those in a committed relationship. But they have it wrong, as far as I’m concerned. If a student, especially a Northwestern University student, can balance schoolwork and a social life with having a girlfriend, he deserves a great amount of respect. It’s a gift to be in a relationship, not a curse.

The main argument to that effect is that that relationships take away from the standard, stereotypical college experience. And, yes, it degrades a certain college experience. It takes away the possibility of one-night stands and random hookups, but there is no future in that. You can’t build a life off of one-night stands once you leave college. Believe it or not, people mature and whether you want to or not, you’ll mature with them.

…keep reading!
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The future isn’t on freshmen and sophomores’ radars. The early college years are more about having a good time rather than settling down and committing. An incoming college student is more likely to fall victim to temptation than a junior or senior. Opportunity is everywhere for the hopeful single guy in college if he knows how to play the field.

That being said, the freshman relationship definitely isn’t unheard of. Plenty of high school relationships turn into college relationships, and then of course the opportunities are endless to meet someone new. Again, there is no template for a college relationship. Some guys are more suited for a relationship than the single life.

No matter what kind of guy he is though, he probably isn’t looking for something too long term. Rather than being future oriented about a relationship, guys are focused on getting a good career and creating a steady, well-earned life for themselves. Relationships are an afterthought if anything, though a relationship’s intimacy and emotion doesn’t go undesired. As years pass, guys become more open to the idea of having a steady relationship, so give it time.

While the future may not seem like a big influence in college relationships, it’s forever in the back of all of our minds. We can’t escape time.

In terms of college relationships lasting, I think that tribulations a couple will face when leaving college are exponential. But the reward is proportional to the risk.

Go to the next page for Mike’s bro blog!
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Howdy Ladies,

I hope you all had a marvelous Valentine’s Day spent with your special someone or watching Ryan Gosling movies.  Personally I don’t understand why you ladies are so obsessed with this dude.  He’s CANADIAN!!!  Canada is lame.  Speaking of Ryan Gosling, this brings us to this week’s topic of marriage and the role of an uncertain future in college relationships.  Today, the bro blog will set the record straight on whether guys think about the future when choosing to enter relationships or if we just kind of get strung along for the ride.  Better still, do we actually ever think about marriage?

No.  It is that simple.  Guys are far too simple-minded and shortsighted to think about the future when deciding to enter into a relationship.  We’re thinking about your shirt and how we can separate it from your body tonight, not what’s going to happen to our relationship when one of us Northwestern overachievers goes off to Sierra Leone for a year on a grant to end the blood diamond industry while curing malaria.  See in our minds there are three things that are certain in the future: we will participate in a fantasy football league in the fall, we will go fishing and we’ll never stop staring at Tom Brady’s wife.  The future of our relationship is the farthest thing from this spectrum as we just simply don’t have the brain power to comprehend it.  So please don’t ask us to try.  Our attempts will only be futile and pathetic. 

            I’d marry Ryan Gosling if he was American,
                                                Mike

Read what “Northwestern Guy” has to say about college relationships and the future on page 5!
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Our “Northwestern Guy” has some strong opinions!

Topic for the week: College Relationships and if they can survive post grad.  I know I’m taking an extreme view on this, but here’s narrow-minded statement on college relationships. Exclusive college relationships should not exist FACT.  Let me explain.
 
1 – Last time to be single.  By late 20s maybe early 30s you’re getting hitched.  Then, in theory, you’re married until your death, which is roughly 40 years of getting to be with the same person.  That’s plenty of time to play house, no need to rush.  This is the time to have fun.  College is the time to be selfish, to do what you want.  Once you’re in an exclusive relationship, it’s not about you anymore; it’s about “us.”  That means sacrifices are made, sacrifices like having to go see “Twilight” or “Eat, Pray, Love” because it’s her turn to pick the movie.  I wouldn’t even make the pledges watch those. 
 
2 – No one knows what he or she wants in a partner.  Just to clarify, I am not saying there should be no relationships between the sexes, just not exclusive ones.  The reason, no one has any idea what he or she wants in a significant other.  This is the time to figure out what you want.  The more girls I get to take to dinner, the better understanding I have about what I’m looking for in a wife one day.  Unfortunately, that’s tough to do here because there is zero casual dating scene at Northwestern.  I’ll sum up Northwestern’s social scene in two points. 1) Sloppy one-night hook ups 2) getting wifed-up exclusively.  But the really funny thing is I’ll mention the casual dating thing to girls and they agree with me that they wish it existed.  But at the same time if girls found out a guy was going on dates with multiple girls, he would be in deep shit.  Result, no casual dating because it’s not worth the risk.
 
3 – People here are very career-oriented.  Everyone is here for one reason, to get a high-paying job post-grad.  And if you came to Northwestern to just have fun, Searle Health Services is located on Emerson St. because you should probably get your head examined.  The reason I think college relationships won’t last afterwards is because people (both sexes) are going to pick their careers over their college sweetheart.  If you are dating a Pre-Med, and he gets accepted to med school in God-forsaken North Dakota, he’s going there whether you like it or not because that’s been his life goal.  You guys can try to do the long-distance thing, but you’ll probably be swamped with your entry-level investment banking analyst position in New York and eventually the relationship falls apart.
 
4 – Don’t just date someone to date someone.  If you don’t see it going somewhere then stop, it’s not fair to either person.  All you’re doing is holding him or her back from meeting someone that might be the one. 
 
Exceptions to the Rule
Like every theory, there are exceptions to the rule and this one is no different.  Times when exclusive college relationships are acceptable:
 
1 – She’s clearly out of your league.  If my dream girl wants to date, I’m getting wifed-up.  In other words, if you are dating someone and you for sure think you can’t do any better, then all I said before should be completely disregarded.
 
2 – Points 2 and 3 don’t exist.  Some people are very mature and already know what they want in who they date.  If a couple mutually thinks that, and they are not very career oriented / willing to sacrifice for the good of the relationship, then the relationship is going to survive.
 
I have some fairly opinionated views on this topic.  I’ve done both at Northwestern (single and exclusive).  And from my perspective, it is entirely two different worlds.  What I learned is to not rush into anything.  Let the situation play out and if you think someone’s worth dating exclusively then do it.  But the second it stops being fun get out, because life’s too short to be in a dull relationship.

Curious who “Northwestern Guy” is? Check out his profile… maybe you can figure it out!

Ben’s got something to say about this on Page 6!!!
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Let’s take a second and examine college and how it compares to the real world. Heavy drinking during the week: nope. Skipping class/work and expecting no one to notice: nope. Not having to worry about bills and all that: definitely not. College is a time for you to learn and just mess around before stepping out into the real world. Don’t think too much about the future because in short, the future just kind of gets in the way of things.
 
College is not real life and should not be treated as such. In my opinion, leave the future out of the equation and just enjoy yourself. If you make your relationship decisions by asking yourself, “how long will this last?” you are doing it wrong. As I said, college is a time to live and learn. If you like a girl/guy, try it out, ask her out. The future should not play too far into your equation. Here are four years for you to just mess around and learn what works and what doesn’t. I do not think too far into the future when I act, but that does not mean I don’t have things I want to get out of the future. If I still enjoy the time I spend with a girl, but do not see a future with her, I have to decide which one means more to me. While it is a case by case situation, the present generally wins because there is very little fun to be had by living in the future.
 
As far as an expiration date upon graduation, it is tough to say. I am a Junior who hasn’t thought about any of that yet, so all of this is speculation. If you truly find someone you love and both of you feel the same way, I would say it has a chance. While I would say most relationships will probably end, it is not a definite and that is a conversation for the two people to have by themselves when they reach graduation.