Dear Sexual Violence,
Today, I have decided to create my own reality. And you are nowhere in the picture.
It’s a cool Chicago night in the city, and I have just sat down to watch one of my favorite TV shows. As I sit glued to the display, eating my favorite after hours snack, I can’t help but dive into the heart wrenching episode as it unfolds on the television screen. A young woman is propped up in a hospital bed and is bravely recanting the details of a sexual assault that has occurred just hours before. As I watch the episode, scene by scene, I feel a sense of deep admiration for the young woman and her ability to retell her story to so many different people. From police officers, to doctors, to physicians, lawyers, family members and friends, each reiteration was even more tear-jerking than the last. By choosing to not remain a silent victim, she fearlessly took power over her circumstance and sought justice in the wake of her abuse. I imagined what I would do in her position and tried to assure myself that if I was ever a victim of sexual assault that I would certainly be just as courageous as the young woman.
By the end of the episode, as much as I had convinced myself that I could be her in that situation, the truth is my life is not an episode of Special Victims Unit. The ability to speak up about assault is not always the reality for many victims of sexual abuse. Countless sexual assaults go unreported because victims are fearful of speaking out. These violent acts have been labeled “crimes of silence” in popular culture because of the social stigmas, victim blaming, embarrassment, fear, and a number of other factors that work to quiet the very individuals whose voices need to be heard. These techniques act as paralyzing agents for victims and keep them from speaking out against their attackers. In my twenty years of life, I have witnessed family members, friends, and peers suffer silently as victims of sexual violence. In these same individuals, I have also seen the liberating power that comes from shedding light in the face of the darkness that has become sexual assault.
At Northwestern University, we are taking back the night. For every survivor of sexual violence, for every family member and friend who has grieved with their loved one, for every person afraid to speak out about their abuse, for every person who fears that this may one day be his/her reality. The Take Back the Night Planning Committee has planned a full week of events for Northwestern’s student body. This year’s Sexual Assault Week, with the theme “Dear Sexual Violence” will include the national “White Ribbon day,” the Take Back the Night rally, march, and speak out, a self-defense class, 3 performances of the show “Student Body,” and a lecture by Feministing’s Miriam Perez on combatting sexual assault through social justice. TBTN 2012 committee wants to empower every person to stand up in the fight against sexual violence.
Taking back the night does not simply mean making the world a safer place for everyday citizens. By granting a voice to those who have survived sexual violence, TBTN demonstrates the power of the human tongue to affirm our strength through adversity and our ability to overcome obstacles. With this declaration of freedom from the muzzling techniques of sexual violence, we will take back our power from the grips of fear that have forced so many into silence.
For every woman who has ever feared for her life as she walked alone in the shadows of the night, and for every man who cries in the dark silently, yet wanting the whole world to understand his pain. We are taking back the night.
As I sit in my chair on this cool Chicago evening, I realize that though my life is not a television show, I could be just as courageous as that young woman in the face of sexual violence. I know this because so many others have stood up and took power over their lives. I can create my own reality and not allow the fear of sexual violence to shape who I am or who I will become in the future.
Dear Sexual Violence, My future is in my hands. I am taking back the night.
Sincerely,
Melissa L. Brown
TBTN Committee 2012
Want to write your own “Dear Sexual Violence” letter? You can do so at dearsexualviolence.tumblr.com