There is a seemingly endless list of movies about the next step in life after you fall in love as marriage. In our generation, though, it seems almost impossible for young love to make it past the teen years and into a mature future that includes a healthy marriage.
Despite the relationship pitfalls of being born into our generation, Rebekah Ward, a Northwestern 20-year-old junior from Chicago, got engaged two weeks ago to her now-fiancé Glenn Yancy, a 26-year-old Northwestern graduate.
Not only is Ward engaged at a young age, but her view of marriage is quite positive.
“Marriage is taken very lightly in our culture. I think many people go into marriage just ‘trying it out’ or with the notion that they can quit as soon as they are unhappy,” Ward said. “I am sometimes discouraged by the divorce rate and by stories of unfaithfulness but there is a beautiful thing about two people joining hearts and minds and families.”
The numbers are understandably daunting. According to divorcestatistics.org, between 40 and 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. The outlook only gets grimmer in subsequent remarriages, with the chance of divorce going up 10 to 20 percent each time.
For Ward and Yancy, this is no test run. The pair have been together for a little over a year and a half, and on September 23 Yancy proposed at the Palm Court of the Drake Hotel.
“I didn’t expect to be engaged at this time but when Glenn asked I said yes!” Ward said. “I definitely want to wait until I am done with school to get married but when the man you know you will marry proposes to you, you have to say ‘yes!’ not ‘um, no, how about later?’”
The prospect of marriage does not seem to intimidate Rebekah who has several strong examples of beautiful marriages.
“I am blessed because my grandparents are still married, my parents have been married for over 25 years, and Glenn’s parents are still happily married as well. It is a valued tradition in both of our families and neither of us is taking it lightly. Marriage is what happens after the wedding is over. It is a huge commitment, not just a fun and fancy event,” Ward said.
Ward and Yancy’s marriage certainly has a shot, according to factors that a University of Virginia report said reduces the probability of a marriage ending in divorce. Things such as earning over $50,000 a year, having a college degree, marrying after age 25, having parents that are still married, or having a religious affiliation can all lower your risk of divorce anywhere from 14 to 30 percent tend to make marriages more successful.
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Ward said she feels like her relationship is far different than other college flings.
“Most college relationships are about hooking up and going to frat parties but I am kind of over that. When you find a fantastic guy, you are not interested in those superficial hookups or wondering whether or not some guy is going to text you. Girls deserve a lot more than most Northwestern guys can or are willing to give them.”
Erik Legried, a 19-year-old Northwestern sophomore from Minneapolis, Minnesota is not the typical Northwestern guy, at least according to Ward’s definition.
Legried has been in a solid, loving relationship for almost two years with his long-distance girlfriend Juliet Nelson, an 18-year-old high school senior from Minneapolis. The two met in debate class in high school and have been together since.
Because their relationship took on long-distance status relatively early on Legried said they had to have serious discussions about marriage and commitment.
“I think we’ve had a healthy balance of rational and emotional thinking. The rational side of things, the one that friends and parents are often eager to highlight, acknowledges the necessary limitations associated with making commitment decisions while this young. The odds are against us and we know it,” Legried said.
“I’ve never been happier than the last two years with Juliet. No statistic about teenage love will convince me to throw away the happiness I have right now and hope I will continue to have throughout life,” he added.
Because of their discussions about marriage, and the inspiring marriage that he said his parents have, Legried feels as though marriage is in his and Juliet’s future and that their relationship can beat the statistics.
Maybe someday they too will be where Ward and Yancy are, looking down the road to happily ever after.