Romance Isn’t Dead Says The Bro Blog

Welcome to the Bro Blog! Sometimes it seems like romance is dead, but our bro bloggers are here to assure us that there is a time, a place and a way for romance in college! Check them all out and enjoy:)

Looking for a specific blogger? Click on their names to navigate to their post!
J.P. Bowgen
Mike Mallazzo
Northwestern Guy
Ben Shartar

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Whoever says that romantic gestures have no place in college relationships is dead wrong. How can anyone ever expect a relationship to succeed without these gestures? It is only when there are no more left that a relationship ultimately weakens and fails. When either person’s efforts diminish, then a relationship is lost.

I’m not saying that an elaborate plan is necessary—quite to the contrary. It’s the small things that get a message across. But a grandiose gesture every once in a while is necessary.

Now, you may be asking yourself: what are these grandiose gestures? In my opinion, dinner and a movie don’t count. That’s a routine night out, so don’t think you’re being clever when you suggest it. I’m talking about something big—a trip to Chicago, perhaps? Get creative with your gestures. She’ll definitely appreciate the effort you put into it and you may get something in return.

While these gestures can be difficult to perform in a college atmosphere because we’re all busy studying, you need to suck it up. If you got yourself into it and you’re not willing to commit, then get yourself out. College relationships are more serious than guys seem to think. So if you committed to it, stick to your word and show her why you aren’t the typical college boy. The most successful relationships have plenty of romance, whether guys want to admit it or not. And intimacy is a must have

When you aren’t planning these grandiose gestures, resort to the small things. Bring her flowers, but be creative. Leave them on her doorstep with a nice card or be waiting outside of class with a bouquet. No one said a little embarrassment is bad. If anything, other girls watching will be jealous of her. So I give you formal permission to embarrass your better half.

My go to move: leave a beautifully written card underneath her pillow. Guys don’t get many opportunities to say what they think, so use the card wisely. But be prepared to get a late night phone call. Believe me though,it’ll be the best call you ever get.

But other than concrete gestures, just talk to her. Let her know that you’re willing to listen. That’ll get you farther than you think. Some may not consider that a romantic gesture, but it is in its simplest form. Make sure your phone is always on and be spontaneous. The most fun romantic gestures are the unexpected ones.

Just give her all the time you can and remember to show her that she is loved. The rest will fall into place.
 
Go to the next page for Mike’s bro blog!
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Hi again gals,

A few summers ago, I went on a mommy and me date with Karen for burgers and a movie where we went and saw Will Smith’s “Hitch.”  Although I mostly remember how smokin’ hot Eva Mendes was, Will Smith’s super suave character uttered one famous line that has resonated with me ever since.  Prophetically, he stated that, “60% of all human communication is nonverbal body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth.”  Attempting to live by my idol’s example, I have always placed a premium on romantic gestures as Hitch has bestowed upon me the knowledge that to be a real man, you can’t just talk a smooth game.  If you’re so much of a dweeb that you don’t have time for romantic gestures, you might as well just stock up on Sex Week lube and buy World of Warcraft premium because that’s about as far as you deserve to go with the gals.

I trust Will Smith.  He’s tall, dark, and handsome.  At best, I am none of these.  Therefore, I must be raid Romeo’s playbook to keep the best Juliets. Will I take you somewhere we can be alone?  Absolutely. I’ll be waiting, all you have to do is run.  I’ll even sneak out to the garden to see you.  In all seriousness, I think it is absolutely vital to practice a little old-school romance.  You gals know you love this and we enjoy it more than we let on.  Late-night walks on the lakefill or the beach work best, because in lieu of expensive alcohol, these basically do your foreplay for you.  Just don’t get so overly excited that you round the bases on a rock.  Remember, rocks hurt and you never know when your favorite professor may decide to go out for a late night jog.  

In addition to large romance endeavors, subtle uses of body language are also important.  Up until recently, I thought I had this one figured out when one night my world was rocked.  My bro (a legendary Her Campus cutie) and I were playing a friendly game of beer pong with our girlfriends and when she made a shot, I pulled out my go-to little cute move.  Basically it involved sort of nudging her lightly on the side of her stomach with the back of my knuckles to sort of tickle a bit and show non grotesque affection.  Turns out, this move was also paramount to my friend’s repertoire.  Suddenly, both of our girls gave it to us straight that they hated this move as it drew attention to their stomachs which apparently isn’t something girls like.  My world was crushed.  I felt like a total failure as a boyfriend.  To make matters worse, another friend of mine laughed and said to me, “Dude, you actually think girls liked that.  He’s a real bro that wears one of those douche Titlist hats slightly off-center so I guess he’s an expert on these kinds of things.

At this point, you’re probably saying, cool story bro.  The point of making is that even if your heart is in the right place, it is important to know which romantic gestures work and which don’t.  But don’t ever get lazy.  Cook for him, send a gift, and learn a subtle little love move.  It’ll make all the difference and you’ll be the second best girl out there only to Eva Mendes who may or may not now be my computer background.

I hope I’m at least a little handsome,
Mike 

Read what “Northwestern Guy” has to say about romance!
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Are romantic gestures possible in college? Yes. Romantic gestures are classy.  Girls like guys with class.  I like girls.  Therefore, by using the transitive property I learned in third grade math, I like being classy.  At the end of the day, the guy that gets the girl he wants is no accident, it’s because he outdid every other guy.  Chasing chicks is a capitalistic game.  What I mean is every little nuance that I bring to the table puts me in a better position to win a girl over.  And, from what I’ve experienced, being classy is one of those nuances.  There’s a couple ways I try to keep it classy that will ultimately put me in a better spot.
 
First Impressions – Scenario: I notice there’s some cute blonde chick in my religion class.  I want to go hit on her, but I currently am wearing sweats, unshaven, not showered, mildly hungover and not very sharp.  Solution: I’m not going to talk to her today.  There’s a good chance I’m going to screw it up by saying something stupid because my head is killing me and once she judges my appearance it becomes an uphill battle from there.  Instead, I’m going to come to next lecture looking good and wearing something nice like jeans and a button down.  Now some might say this is overdoing it, but those same people are the ones not pulling any game.  The first thing a person notices about someone else is his or her physical appearance.  So by looking classy, I’m already one-upping the competition.  After that, I trust that my people skills will allow me to successfully get her number, and eventually out on a date.
 
Dates – Being classy on dates is simple, take a normal date and put a little twist on it.  This is probably the most important on the first date, because the first date is another form of a first impression.  The first date is most likely going to be dinner.  But instead of just going to dinner, I’m going to meet her with a bottle of wine and a pair of real wine glasses.  We get to dinner, I pull out a decent wine bottle opener, properly open the bottle, and pour her a glass to the widest part of the glass.  Why the widest part?  Because it allows the wine to breathe its best, allowing it to taste better, which I explain to her.  That classy first impression is going to demonstrate to her that I bring an extra element to the table, and is going to help me beat out other guys for her.
 
There is still a balance as to how much classiness or romance I should use.  I think it’s better to approach it as quality over quantity amount for two reasons 1) if I overdo it my romantic gestures will start to lose their meaning 2) my bank account can’t keep up.  The best thing to do is keep her on her toes, like sending her flowers every once in a while, or having a date where you cook for her, things of that nature.  It isn’t a question of whether romantic gestures should happen in college, it’s a question of how to go about using them. 
 
Curious who “Northwestern Guy” is? Check out his profile… maybe you can figure it out!

Ben’s got something to say… keep going!!!
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Hello my valued readers. As you may have noticed I did not have a post for the last two weeks, and it was because I was on a very important international business trip with Ralph Lauren and Bono and I just could not find the time to post from my villa in Greece. True story. I know you have missed me quite dearly in my two weeks of absence, and I want to let you know it will be okay, because I am back now and there is no reason to cry anymore. Now on to this week’s topic, shall we?

We are talking this week about romantic gestures, and no, pelvic thrusts in the general direction of a girl you like is not an example of a romantic gesture (but actually, don’t do it, its weird and toolish). The name of the game for romantic gestures is subtlety. These gestures are meant for that special someone and no one else (unless you have many special someones), so if you are making a romantic gesture for someone, make sure it is for their sake and no one else. Remember, a whisper in the ear is more powerful than yelling drunkenly that you love someone outside of the Keg…unless you really really really have to yell it, I mean no mistake has ever been made after leaving the Keg, right?

As far as examples of gestures, I can give you a few that I am fan of but it is best to find your own way.  I am a big fan of the night time walks, hand in hand when the weather permits. Being able to see downtown chicago skyline by moonlight, feeling the cool breeze come off the lake as it blows through your entwined fingers, and in the darkness you have a real sense of privacy. No peering eyes, no busy worries of the day, just you and that special someone. Also, if you can do it well, cook for him/her! Nothing makes them panties drop more than a man who can cook…or a woman who can cook but I hope the man isn’t wearing panties. Flowers I tend to forego because frankly I feel awkward holding them. I have to go and buy them, and then walk around with them until I get to my destination, everyone clearly knows what they are for, and then when you give them to the girl they have to deal with them! However, if the girl likes them, suck it up and get them (unless she is allergic, don’t do that). Being in a relationship means being willing to do things you don’t like just for the sake of that other person. I was once forced to go see 13 Going on 30 even though I didn’t want to and it turned out to be a fantastic performance and I was shocked when Jennifer Garner did not win an Academy Award.

Whether it is the occasional smile and squeeze of the hand or something else, find a gesture that adequately shows your affection for the other person and stick with that.

Now that the serious stuff is out of the way, Here is a small list of things not to do and that do not count as romantic gestures: public butt slaps, complimenting her rack, buying her a chia pet, buying her a 3 month subscription to weight watchers, using Franzia for a romantic dinner, playing guess who with a chloroform soaked rag, growing dreadlocks, tattooing her name on your lower back, pointing out your erections as evidence of your love, and spontaneous tackles.