I’ve been living in the United States for the past eleven years of my life. I learned a lot while I was living in the U.K., but I feel like I’ve learned all of the really big things while living in the U.S. I’ve been through junior high, high school, and now half of college here, experiencing a lot of the real big milestones like learning how to drive, getting my first kiss, actually getting into college, etc. And what I’ve noticed along the way is that there’s a uniquely “American” way of approaching all of these things that is distinctly different from the British way, or probably any other way.
One thing that strikes me every time as sharply contrasting is the cultural differences in how we approach sex. We’re seeing stories about sex all over the place right now, with the human sex class controversy and Charlie Sheen being, well, Charlie Sheen. But for the most part I feel in the U.S. sex ends up being portrayed as this taboo thing, or as something outside the norm, when in reality more people are having sex than anyone ever talks about or would like to admit. Perhaps if we could embrace that fact or at least acknowledge it, people would have more information available so they could make more informed decisions.
I’m a member of S.H.A.P.E. (Sexual Health and Assault Peer Education) here at Northwestern, and while we do focus on the serious issues of sexual assault, STIs, and pregnancy prevention, we also spend a lot of our time talking about the importance of a healthy approach to sexuality. If people are scared to talk about sex or scared to even think about it, what are they going to do when put in a situation where they might be faced with it? And how you can develop your own sexuality if so many people out there are telling you that sex is bad and shouldn’t be discussed? There is nothing inherently bad about sex! As long as you’ve got safety and consent on your side, it’s a perfectly natural thing. But so many people are taught that it’s unnatural, and that leads to a lack of understanding of how to be safe or what consent even is.
I’m sorry, I’m too passionate about this stuff and getting off topic. What I wanted to bring up was that even in the short periods of time I’ve spent in the U.K. during my junior high, high school, and college years, I’ve seen such a noticeably different approach to sex. People aren’t scared of it. There are huge billboards for reporting domestic violence and sexual assault all over the place with hotlines you can call; T.V. shows actually have more freedom (remember the whole “Skins” debacle? Yeah, that show’s a huge success in the U.K. and is even more overtly sexual than the U.S. version was). It’s hard for me to live in a country that is so revolutionary in other ways – and has been for hundreds of years – that can’t seem to grasp a healthy approach to sex and sexuality. I’m hopeful that moves are being made in the right direction and that we’ll see a change in this. I have to stay optimistic, because if I don’t then I might just have to get on the next plane back to the U.K.