I’ve always really liked letters. They’re interesting. Someone took pen to paper and formed shapes and associated them with sounds in some arbitrary way and language and literature was born. I’m sure there’s some extensive research and theory on that, but let’s just go with my version. So letters. Fascinating. Example: V. Pretty uncommon letter. The kind you don’t really want to get in Scrabble or Banagrams. ‘V’ is also for Valentine, which is all up in my grill today whether I like it or not. It’s also for a word most people find to be uncomfortable, at best: vagina.
I saw the Vagina Monologues for the first time this weekend. Snaps for the ladies who showed a full house audience several sides of what it means to own a vagina. Though kind of (really) uncomfortable for most at times, the show is also relatable and thought-provoking and isn’t that what everyone wants out of good theater? Even though there was no nudity, it still left me, and probably others, feeling sort of… well, exposed. Outed. Discovered and discussed in ways that are usually meant for behind closed doors or locked and hidden somewhere dark and secret. So, props to Eve Ensler, good for the cast and crew here at NU, cheers all around for vajayjays and monologues about them. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the orgasmic parts of life all discussed within the context of the most utterly womanly thing there perhaps is. Cool.
Also, the set was made out of some really cute bras.
But seriously, in contrast, I have some other wisdom to impart that was previously imparted to me. Sex before marriage. I’ve always been all for a “if you’re ready, go for it” approach of doing things that make you happy and feel comfortable with yourself. I found that as sure as our whimsical, over-hormonal nineteen year old selves might feel about how ‘ready’ we are, we might just biologically be doing something kind of stupid. When you are intimate with someone, you release endorphins. But, at the same time, you aren’t totally committed to this person. There’s no full emotional giving when you’re nineteen and having fun or in love, whatever that means. You always have to save a part of yourself reserved for you just in case, on the slight (or overwhelming chance) the person you’re
getting busy with doesn’t call and you end up getting hurt/feeling rejected/breaking up/running far away because that was a drunken mistake etc. I don’t know if that part, that piece of your essence that gets protected is somewhere deep in the unconscious mind or right under the surface (just beyond the kinky college self ;-)) but wherever it is, it’s there, they say. You are a strong, independent college femme, right? So in owning your personal bright shiny blossoming identity, you create some sort of block which doesn’t let those endorphins get all the way to their happy place in between you and this other person. But, (probably overly simplified version of a complicated emotional/psychological/biological) theory says, if you’re married, you and your partner create this ultrabond of commitment and that block becomes a bridge and the endorphins can swim happily between you and your significant other and now everything is great and you can literally feel the greatness when you’re going at it. I wouldn’t know. I’m so not married. (Note to men, ages 18-23, single: I’m on the market.)
At the same time, college is kind of the time to be a little stupid. If you’re going to screw up, I guess now is a good time for it. But, I also think you all are pretty supersmart. So, trust yourself, but trust the facts in some kind of organic, not-so-over-analyzed way. Keep it classy, keep it safe, keep yourself happy, and have a very,very happy V-Day.
PS. Not happy spending Valentine’s Day alone. Channel your inner Christina Aguilera. Song: “Vanity” Released and for obvious reasons, not made famous in 2010.Warning: I will probably never write anything this epic. In any way, shape, or form. The only reason she gets a shoutout for this song is because it starts with a ‘V’ and she is one bold chick for putting this song (and concept) out there. Lyric preview: “V is for vanity. Every time I look at me, I turn myself on.” You are as sexy as the girl she’s describing and you should know it too! Thanks, Xtina for the V-Day uplift.