If you’ve ever been talking with a guy and he’s done something that gave you a bit of an uneasy feeling in your stomach, you can probably assume he’s thrown up a red flag. Defined by Urban Dictionary as “a sign or warning of any impending danger, disaster or doom,” enough red flags in a relationship is more likely than not means to run the other way. In high school I had a radio show with my best friend called Girl Talk, and together we created this list of the top nine red flags in budding relationships.
1. “Don’t listen to what other people say about me”
Translation: “I’ve screwed over a lot of people.” It’s not just girls’ opinions that matter on this one – it’s the guys too! When you hear this sentiment from multiple girls you know that he’s not only gotten around but also very poorly handled the way he ended those relationships – don’t be another tally on his total.
It’s also super important when you hear this from guys because they actually see each other when they aren’t around girls. Getting the scoop on these “off-camera” interactions from your mutual guy friends is crucial to fully knowing whether or not your man has thrown up a red flag.
2. When he only wants to hang late at night
Oh the classic late-night hangs. In the early stages of dating they seem fun and maybe even a bit scandalous, but let’s be real: if you and your guy are only hanging out late at night how does your relationship differ from a consistent booty call? And if that’s all you’re looking for by all means rock on but if you’re looking for a little something more with your relationship, I’d definitely steer clear of the solely night-time hangs. Bring him out into the light of day ladies!
3. If they don’t share their food with you
I’m sorry…what? If I’m forcing myself to eat this disgusting salad (to make it seem like I live some sort of healthy lifestyle), you better dang well be willing to give me some of those fries cause I’m starved. Being the girl who always acts like she enjoys eating salads, I tend to surround myself with people who are willing to fill the ceaseless burning hole in my stomach with some of their far more appetizing food.
4. When public arenas are avoided during dates
“Let’s just hang in my room – it’ll be fun!” While the allure of the microscopic 5ft by 5ft dorm rooms is extremely appealing, if your man isn’t taking you out and showing you off to the world he’s pretty much waving a red flag right in front of your face. Girl, you deserve to be paraded around the entire city! Don’t let him corral you in his smelly dorm room. If you’re sensing a repeated trend in his choice of hangout place, maybe suggest a nice little dining hall date! That’ll really show his true colors.
5. Smell
Unless you’re into the smell of some nice all-natural BO, I suggest you start running if your man is not an avid deodorant/cologne user. There’re also very few things more attractive than a guy having his own personal scent (that smells good of course). Maybe it’s Old Spice Fiji or Chocolate Axe. Regardless, if he smells bad in general I’d steer clear, or maybe gift him a deodorant as a little “out of the blue” present!
6. When he doesn’t have a lot of guy friends
There’s a big difference between an alluring sense of independence and a red-flag-worthy friendlessness. If your guy friends either “don’t have much to say about him” or even “don’t really like him,” you know there’s probably something up with him. For any of you Bachelor or Bachelorette fans, there’s always that one guy/girl in the house who everyone just doesn’t get along with, and normally they are completely different around the person of interest then they are around the other guys/girls in the house. If your guy seems like McDreamy around you but doesn’t really get along with the other guys, I’d suggest doing a little more investigating before diving into the relationship headfirst!
7. If he’s on his phone more than you
I’m sorry but what could he possibly be doing on his phone that’s more important than having a good old fashion face-to-face conversation with you? I personally cannot stand when I’m on a date and the guy uses his phone more than a few times. It can wait!
8. If they aren’t nice to their parents
This one’s a big one for me and I’m guessing it’s important for a lot of other girls too. Everyone’s been in that situation where they’re sitting at their friend’s house and a fight breaks out between your friend and their parent. Those moments when you’re awkwardly sitting there trying to act invisible and not be forced to take sides are uncomfortable for both parties, and when this situation happens with a guy you’re interested in it’s especially unpleasant.
9. He asks you to add him on a separate Snapchat account
This is by far the biggest red flag on this list. Back when Snapchat showed everyone’s top three best friends (and it’s rumored that this feature may return to the Snapchat interface), I remember hearing girls tell me that guys would literally ask them to add them on a separate private account of theirs so that no one would see that they were snapping. How does a guy justify this and actually get away with it?! If he isn’t willing to have other people see your name on that list he’s a waste of your time!
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