As a first time watcher of the popular ABC show, The Bachelor, I’ve been left with a multitude of thoughts after watching the season thus far. I get that it’s TV, but the whole concept of falling in love with someone whose technically dating 20 something other girls just really confuses me.
There is just no possible way these girls could be ready for marriage after their short time spent with Juan Pablo. I understand that there are plenty of instances of people getting engaged after a very short period of time, but those 2 people have been focused on only each other and have actually had time to get to know each other. In the case of the Bachelor, Juan Pablo started this show with 27 girls trying to get to know him. Even as the competition thins out, the girls are still competing for attention and many don’t get a “one on one date,” meaning just them and Juan Pablo, until halfway through the process. How are they supposed to get to know their potential partner while going on dates with 6+ other girls when they get to spend about 20 minutes with each other?
When the time for proposal does come around, these girls still hardly know Juan Pablo, and he hardly knows anything about them. One of the final 3 contestants on this season, Andi, left the show during the latest episode, and I think she had very good reasoning. While she said she had started to have genuine feelings for Juan Pablo, she realized after her last date with him that he really didn’t know anything about her. When confronting him about these feelings, Andi said that he didn’t know anything important about her, what religion she practiced, what her political views were, or how she felt about social issues. While these don’t have to be the foreground of a relationship, she makes a very good point; how can you possibly be considering engagement when someone hardly knows you?
While some die hard fans might have been sad to see Andi go, I was personally glad to see that she found this situation as ridiculous as I do. It was refreshing to see one of these girls realize that he was not the one instead of just gushing over how hot he is or causing drama with the other girls over stupid things. None of us know what these girls actually talk about with Juan Pablo, seeing that it is a TV show and it is edited and could possibly be scripted at some points, but I find it comical that no other girl has had the same revelation as Andi, that you can only get to know someone so much during the short time that these women have gotten to spend with Juan Pablo.
During this episode when Andi left, there were 3 women left, so essentially Juan Pablo is dating 3 women. How any of these girls are OK with this just blows my mind. How do they find comfort in the fact that they had a wonderful date with Juan Pablo and kissed him and it was so magical, when they know he is doing that with every other girl there? How can they be so confident in their feelings for Juan Pablo and his feelings for them when he clearly has the same feelings for all of the other girls because he’s kept all of them on the show for the same reason; he likes them and wants to get to know them more. But he can’t have all of them. No woman ever wants to be cheated on, and that must be a little how it feels to be on this show, because while Juan Pablo is saying all of these sweet things and taking you to all of these nice places, he does the same thing with a different girl the next day. That has got to be unsettling for some of these girls and I just don’t understand how they can put up with it.
Of the 26 seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, 24 couples have come out of the shows. Of those 24 couples, only 3 are still married. And it’s no surprise, seeing that the relationship practically begins when the show ends. Whether it ends in a proposal, a promise ring, or just the agreement to date, that marks the beginning of the relationship, and the time to actually get to know the person. So its no wonder that when they actually start learning more about the person and not just hanging out in exotic places in front of cameras that they realize it’s not going to work between the two of them. Sure, there have been a few select success stories, which is great for those couples, but it’s much easier to see how it wouldn’t work out for couples that are essentially thrown together and expected to work out for the sake of television.
All in all, I get that it’s reality television and is all for the sake of entertainment. But when it comes down to it, I would hope these youngwomen actually have some intent of finding love and not just trying to exploit themselves via reality TV. Like I said, I’ve never watched The Bachelor or The Bachelorette until this season, so I have no idea how the girls get chosen, if there’s money involved, or how the whole process works, but from someone watching for the first time, I assume all of these girls come to find love, and find it hard to believe that anyone actually does in the short time that they get to spend with their potential partner. Even when they do get to spend time with them, they’re competing for feelings between 20 something other people. I will say that it is slightly entertaining; if you can stand how annoying the girls are, the petty drama that rises between them, and if you can understand anything Juan Pablo is trying to say in English. But for now I’m left wondering like all the other 7 million viewers whether Juan Pablo will pick Nikki, Clare, or maybe come to his senses and realize he hardly knows these women…
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