Being Present

The first cycle of exams has hit Notre Dame. The weather is dreary, the library is packed and the atmosphere on campus is heavy. No longer the lax days of sylly week, school has become stressful, with calendars filled with obligations and responsibilities. 

Personally, I handle responsibility poorly. I hide from the cold and the real world in the old section of the second floor of the library, barely navigating assignments. I have to schedule meals with my friends in order to 1) remember that normal dinner times are a thing and 2) remember that I have people with whom I would like to maintain relationships. During especially busy weeks, I will call any other building home, as opposed to the dorm that has all my belongings and the roommate I love reflecting with after a long day. 

At such a large school with active students, it’s easy to be swept away with all of the events, conferences and opportunities that are offered. I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Articles from our chapter of Her Campus describe these shared sentiments, especially Notre Dame’s Hustle Culture which was published most recently. The balance of self-care/well-being and achievement (or even more frowned upon, resume building) is a tricky scale.

During conversations with friends (or classmates…or strangers who give me the time of day), I’ve started describing my struggle of self-care and achievement as my “inability to be a human being” in college. However, my many shortcomings as a human being have offered me countless opportunities to do better. My favorite way to do this is to “be present”—a phrase my friend throws around quite often. She uses it when she feels physically and/or mentally absent from the antics that go on in our other friends’ lives. 

Following her advice to be present, I wanted to share tips on how to navigate the ability to be human:

Small gestures go a long way. Do something nice for a friend to show that you’re thinking of them. Give your roommate flowers. Compliment a friend. Friendships are filled with lots of unspoken love and appreciation, but showing those feelings feels equally rewarding on both ends. 

Call home. In the hustle of exam week, in the midst of summer applications, feelings of imposter syndrome creep up on me. Sometimes, I find that it helps to call a support system—to remind myself that life isn’t always about the next best thing but enjoying the present. Each person has their definition of home. I call my parents, my grandparents, my high school friends—anyone who will pick up the phone. It’s usually a pleasant surprise on the other end to hear from me (or at least my grandparents love saying that), but it is always a special part of my day to talk. 

Forgive. It’s easy to blame yourself for shortcomings with school, friends and applications. But the shift from blame to forgiveness is a step toward future success. Without resentment or ill will, the future is brighter with more chances to improve in terms of achievement and well-being.

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