Like many of my classmates, I came from a high school that allowed me to believe I was much smarter than I actually am. I always made a plan and stuck to it, never had to put in all that much effort, and simply coasted through.
Obviously, first semester was a harsh adjustment for me. But it was fine. “Second semester,” I thought. “Second semester I’ll get my life together and it’ll be so much easier now that I know what I’m doing.”
Dear readers, my first mistake was assuming I knew anything about what I’m doing. I’ve changed major (more than once), failed quizzes, and cried with friends over our individual, but still essentially the same, existential crises. Here is a collection of some of my own personal tragedies to make you feel better about yourself and existential crises to ease your fears about the being the only one who feels that way.
I’m terrified I’m the only one who’s lost.
I changed my major no less than four times before I ever stepped on campus. For some reason, I thought this meant that what I had actually settled on (International Economics and the Program of Liberal Studies) was set in stone because I had already used up my chances to change. As of current, I have dropped Economics altogether and am in the distressing process of adding another, more practical major.
To say that you’ll have success no matter what you study would be a lie. Some majors aren’t practical and won’t land you a job where you’ll make tons of money. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth pursuing if you’re truly passionate about it. You probably won’t be rich, but if you can get by and if you’re happy, you’re going to be okay.
Sometimes you just need to lie down.Â
I’m not as smart as everyone thinks.
This is probably true. I say this because few are actually as smart as their grandmothers and aunts believe. But here’s another secret: even if you know you’re not as smart as other people think you are, that doesn’t mean they know. From my limited field study, I’ve concluded that many people (especially the ones you’re related to) are willing to extend the “transitional” period between high school and college as far as into your junior year.
Intelligence is not necessarily measured by grades. I’m sure everyone knows a boy or girl in one of their classes who simply seems too stupid to function, yet still has a ridiculously high test average. This discrepancy works both ways. I recently got a 50% on a French quiz. Was it because I’m stupid? This may be up for debate, but I’d say no. I simply studied the wrong tense endings. My grades do not define me, nor do they define you.
You can get through this. Â
I’m disillusioned with our patriarchal, consumeristic, society that focuses on succeeding no matter the means and which places so much value on money that anything below that is considered to be a failure. Life is irrational, success is a lie, nothing we do holds any meaning, and happiness is trivial compared to the blood, sweat, and tears we are expected to put into our “work.”
Same. I’ll let you know when I discover some great coping mechanism to deal with this omnipresent problem.
Speaking of disillusionment…Â
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