Great Expectations Management

During my senior year of high school, many of my classmates and I defined ourselves by our college applications: the comparisons of the number of applications we had filled out, the amount of Top 25 schools we applied to and the ratio of acceptances to rejections and deferrals to waitlists were statistics that we stressed about for months. As I watch my sister face the same struggles as she writes her own college applications, I am truly relieved that I am past such a stressful time. 

But as the deadline looms for study abroad applications, I find myself stuck in the same cycle. Sophomore conversations seem to be dominated by filling out different forms. Studying abroad is sorted by its competitiveness, its GPA requirements and its emphasis on personal statements. Internships ask for previous experience and long commutes to places far from home. It seems as if validation as a student continues to come from the acceptance of our identities on paper. 

As college students at Notre Dame, we tend to pride ourselves on our achievements and performances. We come as big fish from our little pond high schools to this South Bend environment–one where everyone has some activity or discipline they excel in. This statement is not uncommon, since in a study that asked students about what they base their self-worth on, “more than 80 percent said academic competence, 77 percent said their family’s support, [and] 66 percent said doing better than others.” Our comparison to others through numbers and grade letters are external sources of self-esteem. 

Unfortunately, external sources are not great foundations for self-esteem. Research shows that students who base their self-worth on external factors, including academic performance, report more stress, conflict and substance abuse than their counterparts who base their self-worth on internal factors, such as virtue and morality. 

On our campus, however, how can we avoid comparing ourselves to one another? Moreau classes offer methods to work on self-esteem and self-worth, but then Mendoza classes are graded on a curve. Seventy-five percent of students study abroad, but even the biggest program only offers a maximum of 150 placements a semester. These sources of competition lead to anxiety and distraction in externally-searching students, who then fall into a cycle of stress and poor academic performance. During such an important time of identity formation, a downward spiral in adolescence does not aid in enjoying college and the beginning of adulthood.

Experts advise students to look past themselves in order to find self-worth. Instead of focusing solely on oneself as a reflection of letters and numbers, students should set goals about their contributions to others and to the world. This switch to internal factors may even help interpersonal relationships in addition to self-perception. If a person thinks less of themselves, it is easier to cast judgment on others. Each person, student or just another human being, is attempting to navigate the world with their own expectations of performance and acceptance from others. Relying more on internal factors, with the goal of making others feel comfortable in their own skin, can encourage others to do the same. 

Follow HCND on Twitter, like us on Facebook, Pin with us and show our Instagram some love!

Photo 1, 2