Intimate Encounters: Lady Lovers

I love men. I hate them at times, and I love to hate them, but at the end of the day, I really love men. I also love women. I grew up in a pretty conservative city where being gay was almost as bad as being a Democrat, so all of my gay friends were still keeping their sexual identities on the down low. And then one day I discovered that I like women. I won’t get into my sexual awakening because it would take a novel to really delve into that, but I figured out I was bisexual when I was about seventeen. I’d had sex with other women before then, but I always thought it was a phase, or I’d been drunk, or whatever. I’m not the girl who drunkenly makes out with her friends at the bar to get male attention. I’m not the girl who makes sure everyone knows I’m bisexual because I might as well wear a neon sign that flashes “Attention Seeking Whore.” Very few people actually know that I’m bisexual. I’m not ashamed of it. We just go to a school where that is unfortunately still not chill with everyone. So being interested in women here at Notre Dame has been a bit of a struggle for me.

I’ve had sex with two women here. One of them was very clearly just in a phase because the next morning she woke up on top of me and started sobbing saying “What will my ex boyfriend think when he finds out?” Erm. I attempted to roll out from underneath her and ended up being her sounding board for the next hour and a half. No bueno. The second girl, though… She was amazing. Women know what women want. We all know our own anatomies better than most men, so there’s no awkward “Uhh, wait, where do I put it?” or “Ohh, that’s the clitoris! I get it now!” Yes I have heard these phrases from men before. So since I didn’t have to draw a map for her, it took the pressure off. I also felt totally comfortable with giving instructions. Asking her to go harder or faster was completely normal since not all bodies are the same. Men have the tendency to believe that once they figure one woman out, they know everything about all women everywhere. False. Girls know better, so they’re more responsive. We carried on our escapades for about two months, and then things fell through, but I still see her occasionally and it is still as sensational as the first time.

Not everyone is cut out for having sex with another woman. There are a lot of things that factor into it, religion being a big one. I’m not one of those advocates for lesbian sex who tells all of her friends that they should go out and try it at least once. You’ll decide if it’s something you’re into. But if you do go for it, it’s one hell of a ride. And if it’s a phase, a drunken night, or your true sexual orientation, no shame, girlfriend. The Notre Dame bubble could use some more lesbians. 

Xx, Gemma