Recently, a guy I went to high school with – one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met – made his Facebook status something along the lines of: “Just saw a girl on campus running by herself at night with headphones in. Pretty sure that’s everything you’re not supposed to do.” More than 30 people ‘liked’ it, and his friends commented witty things like “At least she wasn’t naked” and the especially creative “Oh, I saw her! She’s in the back of my van now.” Someone even joked that the status itself was creepy because he noticed her in the first place, closing the comment with “#rape.”
There are so many things wrong with this picture, both in the status and in the social response to the status. First, in response to the status, I’ll pose the question: would you have thought anything of it if it were a man running alone at night with his headphones in? Probably not. The implicit reason as to why everything this girl was doing was “wrong” is that she was putting herself in a situation where someone could potentially assault or rape her. Now, I’m not saying that it’s perfectly safe to go running alone at night – it’s just that it’s possible for anyone to be attacked in any situation where they are isolated. The status could just as easily have said, “Just saw someone on campus running by themselves at night with headphones in.” But it’s typically only reprimanded when women are in these situations. Think about it – if a guy is attacked while running alone, people will surely be sympathetic and they’ll write it off as bad luck. But if a girl gets attacked in the same situation, she’s likely to be silently judged for choosing to be in a vulnerable position in the first place. Or maybe even not so silently. In response to the hatefulness of “victim blaming,” activists in Canada organized SlutWalk in 2011, a rally where women dress in revealing clothing to protest the notion that women should not dress like “sluts” if they don’t want to be victimized.
Comedian and self-proclaimed “secular feminist” Jamie Kilstein called attention to the absurdity of blaming women who are victimized in this awesome performance by joking, “Some girls may say this is assault, but the onus is on the girl for being out at a place and wearing things.”
Which brings me to the topic of “rape jokes.” Kilstein’s sketch is funny not because it exploits rape and assault, but because it calls society out on its ridiculous double standards and misplaced judgment against women. But when the typical reaction to seeing someone in a dangerous situation is to make a joke about them being attacked, there’s something wrong with our culture. It’s like that time that comedian made that joke about that girl getting raped. It’s not “funny.”
Read about the mission of SlutWalk here and find out if one is being organized near you.
Note: for those of you who missed it this year, “Funny” is a monologue in Loyal Daughters and Sons about rape jokes.