I am very proud of the acknowledgment I get during drinking games as “the friend who gives good advice” out of everyone in the circle. I will gladly drink to that. I think that it is very easy to say something, but difficult to say the right thing. Like anyone, there are times where I say anything, just hoping that I express some feelings of empathy to the person I am talking with. Sometimes, I am lucky enough to convey everything I want to share with another.
Most recently, I have been searching for the right words in this pandemic. Everyone has faced some kind of loss. It ranges from the freedom to go outside without a mask to harsher consequences. Some lose their senior year, others their abroad programs. Relationships end and friendships are fragmented by distance. Globally, individuals lose their jobs and even their lives. These losses and the actions taken in accordance with social distancing are isolating.
The mantra I have most been reminded of recently is this: keep reaching out to others. It is from the inside cover of a documentary, entitled Meeting People is Easy. The irony of that is noted during this time. The full cover reads:
“If you have been rejected many times in your life, then one more rejection isn’t going to make much difference. If you’re rejected, don’t automatically assume it’s your fault. The other person may have several reasons for not doing what you are asking her to do: none of it may have anything to do with you. Perhaps the person is busy or not feeling well or genuinely not interested in spending time with you. Rejections are part of everyday life. Don’t let them bother you. Keeping reaching out to others. Keep reaching out to others. When you begin to receive positive responses, then you are on the right track. It’s all a matter of numbers. Count the positive responses and forget about the rejections.”
When I shared this excerpt recently, it was in response to a relationship problem. Looking at it with a new perspective, it can be applied to the world now.
This loss of our “normal” life is not going to be accepted anytime soon. There is disruption in every sect of life. It is easy to sink into sadness and hopelessness, with no end to the pandemic in clear sight. However, we must continue to reach out to others. It is because of others that we are staying inside, both to protect ourselves from them and to protect them from ourselves. This physical distance is a testament to the empathy we have, but it does not prevent us from continuing to be supportive, emotionally or virtually.
In building our “new normal” now, we must create support systems. For individuals, it is reaching out to loved ones during times of mourning or to celebrate the mundane. For neighborhoods, it is checking in on the neighbors who are alone or struggling. For communities, it is taking preventative measures to protect the essential workers, from healthcare workers to grocery store cashiers. For society, it is navigating the relationship of citizens and government, building trust between those who can mitigate the economic losses and those who can flatten the curve of the virus.
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