Every college student has one. Every college student probably spends some time thinking about it. Every college student, no matter how much they try to deny it, wonders if maybe they might be even the slightest bit happier had they chosen it.
What is this “one” that I’m referring to?
I’m talking about the “other university” or, in other words, the “other school”—you know, the college that you loved possibly just as much as the one you’re currently attending, so you still follow that school’s official page on social media like Twitter, Facebook, or even Instagram. It can be hard for a lot of people—thinking about where they are now versus where the might have been if they had or could have chosen that other college.
If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, “Hmmm. Nope. I’m in love with my university—this article is completely irrelevant,” that’s perfectly okay, except that I would find it hard to believe that it lacks any sort of relevancy.
Heck, I’m in love with the University of Notre Dame, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there are times when I wish I knew what it might have been like to attend my “other school.” I would venture to say that no matter how much you’ve fallen for your respective university, there has been, at the very least, one or two times you’ve thought something along the same lines as me.
These types of thoughts were especially prevalent in the first semester of my freshman year, which I now believe to be completely reasonable. The very first semester of college, no matter which university you end up picking, is filled with lots of change and with such changes come many valid doubts and questions.
Reflecting back on that, I realize just how much precious time I was wasting—time that I could have been using to build my foundational friendships sooner, to study just a little bit more for my Gen Chem and Calculus tests, to be broadening my horizons in different clubs, etc. Essentially, I could have been using that time appreciating Notre Dame instead of letting the days pass me by while I was wondering about my “other school.”
I tended to over-rationalize my curiosity as well as my hasty longing for the “other school” by blaming it all on my own form of a “freshman year funk”; and while this may hold some truth, I think it’s important for me to acknowledge how much time and energy I threw away doubting my school and explain how sincerely important it is to trust in God’s plan for each of us.
In all honesty, I spent 3/4 of my first semester at Notre Dame questioning if I had made the right decision in attending the university. I devoted a lot of late nights to laying in bed asking myself if I might be happier at my “other school”. “Would the other school offer educational programs or clubs that would fit me better?” started to pop up in my head more often than not. What had made matters worse was my sincere belief that I was alone in feeling this way and thinking these types of things. I assumed no one else checked up on, admired, or even still considered their “other school” in the ways I did.
Boy oh boy, was I wrong and never have I been more appreciative of the fact that I was mistaken.
One day during the end of first semester, within the same time period that I was considering filling out a transfer application to my “other school,” I bumped into a girl in my section who I hadn’t talked to in awhile (we’re best friends now, no biggie). On a whim, she and I decided to grab dinner together.
Little did I know that a meal from North Dining Hall could and would be such a blessing in disguise from God. After what had felt like hours of talking to one another, we both discovered our shared hesitancy in attending Notre Dame. She, much like myself, kept up with and continued to idolize her “other school”. Much to my surprise, she too had considered filling out a transfer application. I like to think that that was the night it sincerely hit me (a giant slap in the face and a “wake-up call” of sorts)— I am only one of many people assuming that what they have in their current university isn’t enough to make them their happiest, so they squander some of what small and precious time they have in college imagining life at the “other school.”
I find it especially important to write about and discuss the experience that I personally had in adoring my “other school” and not giving my own school a chance to prove itself. Too often, students are scared to admit they have doubts about choosing the school they did, so they keep these reservations to themselves and instead sit back on social media quietly admiring pictures from and Forbes statistics about their particular “other school.” Once I figured out I wasn’t even remotely close to being the only one experiencing these feelings, I found it vitally important to bring the topic to light.
As it’s been told time and time again, comparison really is the thief of joy but it’s also the thief of time. It’s okay to occasionally keep up with your “other school” from every now and then, but do not throw away one more minute of your time in college dreaming about what your life could be or would have been like if you had gone there. No! Get out there and give yourself the opportunity to fall in love with the people, the environment, and the experiences of your own college!
Learn to live in the here and now, appreciating both the big and the small moments. God works in some seriously mysterious and wonderfully surprising ways, they just require you to trust in the lows just as much as you do the highs.
So sure, follow that “other school” of yours on social media and recognize it for all of its commendable qualities, but do NOT for a minute let it keep you from falling in love with and treasuring your present school.
Whether you choose to believe it or not, you ended up where you are for a reason—give it the time it deserves to unveil itself. It’s totally okay to be unsure about your university, in fact, it’s probably healthy that you’re uncertain occasionally—it means you’re thinking and care about your future. But, go easy on yourself. You chose the college that you did for some higher reason, just remember to give God time to reveal it to you. In the mean time, keep your chin and your spirits up and learn to celebrate the short four years you have wherever you are.
College is a chaotically beautiful journey—enjoy and appreciate the ride.Â
The HCND application is now open! For more information contact Rebecca Rogalski at rebeccarogalski@hercampus.com or Katrina Linden at katrinalinden@hercampus.com
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