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Sistah, Sistah: How Going to College Brought My Sister and Me Together

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Notre Dame chapter.

If you had asked me in high school whether or not me and my sister got along, I would not have hesitated to throw a monosyllabic “No” your way. My sister is only a year older than me, and so those three years we went to high school together I avoided her like the plague. If I was feeling particularly kind I might throw her a half-second wave, but that’s about it. I never hugged her and “I love you” was definitely not in our dialogues—ever.

If you knew me today, you would know that my sister and I are quite good pals. If I had to pinpoint a time when she became my homie, it would have to be the first time I did laundry freshman year. I had zero friends at the time, so that Friday night I decided to attempt laundry. I soon realized I had a single white shirt in my basket. I was so confused. “Will this single white shirt be okay with the rest of my darks and brights?! I DON’T KNOW!” I broke down, mostly I think because I felt like a lonely loser, but this misery manifested itself in a panic over bleeding colors. So I called my sister. She helped me resolve the whole laundry issue, and from then on we were pretty tight.

I think going away to college, more so than laundry, made me and my sister closer. When she went away to SLU my senior year of high school she was only 45 minutes away and I saw her relatively frequently. But then I went away and all the sudden I didn’t have to see her anymore. Her annoying presence became sad absence.

Now I feel a sisterly bond… which is so strange. This bond even led me to drop 90 bucks on matching WILDFOX “sister” shirts. Sometimes, over the summer, I would even go to my dad’s house just to hang out with her. All of the sudden I wanted to talk to her. What. The. Heck.

Whenever we go way to college we receive a freedom from parents that makes it harder to miss them as much, but we also lose sibling relationships that were always there, if even just in the background. There’s a mutual sense of loss that can be surprising for siblings who weren’t previously close. I guess it’s true that we don’t know what we have until it’s gone.  

Thank heavens for Snapchat, which keeps a constant line of communication (sometimes intoxicated communication) between me and my sister. There’s the occasional phone call on my way to class or when something urgent happens in my life that only she would give a fudge about (*cough cough* parents *cough cough*).

Real life text from my real life sister (sfs=s*** faced Shan)

When you’re somewhere new and trying to make new friends or just don’t have friends you feel very close to, talking to someone who you don’t feel like you have to make a good impression on can be a relief. You don’t have to be embarrassed because they pretty much know everything about you already; good, bad, annoying or weird.

We still don’t hug (but I’m not really a hugger anyway) and there is no need to say “I love you.” We’re not a couple for Christ’s sake. With your sister, it’s just implied. 

 

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Images: 1 (author provided), 2, 3, 4, 5 (author provided), 6 (author provided), 7, 8

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Abby Piper

Notre Dame

Abby is a senior studying English, French and Journalism at the University of Notre Dame but remains obsessed with her hometown St. Louis. She loves running, water skiing, writing, watching Christmas movies all year long and The O.C.'s Seth Cohen.