I am not a sad crier. I cry when I’m angry. I cry when I’m frustrated. I even cry when I’m laughing so hard that tears roll down my face. But I most definitely do not cry when I’m sad. Then why is it that on the Monday morning of Frosh-O Weekend, I found myself sitting with my parents at IHOP, unable to take a bite of my crêpe for fear that if I opened my mouth a horrible sob would burst forth and the rest of the tears that had been slowly trickling down my cheeks would finally cascade out like a waterfall? (Ok, I admit I might be being just a bit dramatic, but I honestly did feel bad for the waitress. The poor girl just wanted to know if we liked our meals).
“College is the best four years of your life.” That’s what they tell you. If that’s true, then why is it that all I wanted to do was go home?
I’m an only child, so leaving my parents was especially difficult for me. We’re super close and do all sorts of silly things together.
College turned me into a sad crier. I cried because I missed my parents and the way they would always tell me to go to bed early even though they knew I still had hours of work to do. I cried because I missed my friends, even though I was the one who didn’t cry when we were all saying our goodbyes in the summer because we would see each other soon enough. I even found myself tearing up one Monday afternoon during bio lecture because the previous day I had visited my friends in Chicago, and spending time with them again seemed as much of a tease as spring break is before summer.
Me and some of my best friends from high school on our senior outing. Looking back, I didn’t become good friends with one of them until junior year and another not until senior year.
Me and one of my best friends since freshman year of high school reuniting by celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago.
What they don’t tell you about college is that for the first few months, you might not love it. In fact, you might even hate it.
You’re classes will be difficult. You’ll find out that the things you once thought you were good at, you no longer are. It’ll seem like everyone has already made best friends. Everyone but you. You might even contemplate the logistics of commuting from Chicago to South Bend via train every day (you’d do your homework on the train, of course!) because you probably won’t be able to handle living on campus for much longer. (Okay, maybe that’s just me. We’ve already established that I’m dramatic).
Me and one of my best friends who I barely even knew until our senior year of high school when we realized we were basically the same person.
Celebrating the Blackhawks Stanely Cup victory over winter break!
Great friendships take time to form, but aren’t broken by time apart.
Another thing they don’t tell you about college is that it gets better as you go. Those kids that seem like they have it all together—their major, extracurriculars, FRIENDS—they don’t. They’re just like you: confused, alone, probably wishing they could be as put together as they think you are, that they had made as many friends as you have. College is about figuring things out. I know that you know that adjustment and making friends takes time…but I also know that despite you being well aware of that, you still wish everything was better now. I’ve been there. And although freshman year has come and gone, I’m still in the process of figuring things out.
Me and my lovely, crazy roommates at the Texas game last weekend. I surely would not have met them had I commuted from Chicago to South Bend each day!
All I know is that over my past year here at Notre Dame, I’ve made awesome friends, and I am still in the process of making more! I’m discovering new interests, learning about myself as I go along. I still call my parents and text my high school friends religiously, but I also make time for building my relationships here—both with others and with myself.
A few of the great friends I’ve made here at Notre Dame over the past year! #WalshLove
I’m writing to remind you that it’s okay to feel the way that you do. It’s also okay to love college from the start. Everyone adjusts differently. Just remember to live day by day. Do the little things like floor brunches, drummer’s circle, and pep rallies that make Notre Dame, Notre Dame. Eventually, slowly, things will fall into place, and you’ll realize why everyone says they love college so much.
Post running-through-the-Reflection-Pool-with-Steds-and-appearing-live-on-Sports-Center picture. #JustNDThings
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