She wakes up at 5, drinks lemon water, does yoga, and writes her daily aspirations in her journal … all by 6:30 in the morning. She is the epitome of what a female should be: productive, perfect hair, perfect body, and successful. It seems that Aritzia or Alo should sponsor her if they haven’t already. We all know “her” … we may love “her” or envy “her” (or we are “her”), but let’s be honest, we all strive to be “her.”
Doesn’t it sound nice to have everything in our lives together, or at least seem like it? I mean, half the days I wake up 30 minutes before my first class, throw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and put my hair up in a messy bun — and no I don’t mean the chic Pinterest kind– I mean, the “can’t turn the lights on, roommate is sleeping, no mirror, grab the first scrunchie I can find,” kind of bun. I know, not the best look. Nevertheless, I go with it, walk out the door with coffee in hand, my mascara being the only thing that makes me look presentable.
So especially on these days, I would love to be “that girl.” I think in theory the “that girl” trend is supposed to motivate us to reach our fullest potential. The funny thing is; the more “that girl” TikTok videos I watch, the harder I am on myself. While I think inspiring others to reach their full potential is important — and what better way to spread this on a social media platform that reaches mass audiences — all of the requirements of being and attaining the title of “that girl” are toxic. It is merely impossible to sustain being your healthiest and most productive self every day.
In reality, on TikTok all we see are snippets of these influencers’ days in which they are “that girl.” We don’t see their lows, times when they may doubt themselves, and (gasp) when they skip their morning yoga or Peloton session. Therefore, it is important to remind ourselves that the perception of perfection in the “that girl” trend is not real.
Moreover, the lifestyle of “that girl” does not only require an endless amount of productivity and wellness but also requires spending an outrageous amount of money on clothes, skincare products, Starbucks, shoes, etc. TikTok videos with the tagline: “things you need to buy to become ‘that girl,’” sometimes end up being hundreds of dollars. So, a trend that was once about getting up at 5 in the morning to have a productive day now includes requiring ownership of products to be “that girl.”
Theodore Roosevelt once said that “comparison is the thief of joy.” This is one of my favorite quotes, as it is a reminder that comparing yourself to others is only knocking you down, something that is especially prevalent when we compare ourselves to the unattainable title of being “that girl.”
So, when you compare yourself to “that girl,” you must remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and that is enough. Maybe even talk to your friends or your parents about it. This past week I spoke with my friends about the “that girl” trend and found that everyone felt the same way: that they were in fact and possibly could never be “that girl.” By the end of the conversation, we all had realized that being “that girl” was unrealistic and frankly exhausting.
From this conversation and further personal reflection, I will leave you, dear reader, with this: being “that girl” doesn’t have to be a reflection of a specific aesthetic or standard at all, and is perhaps instead “your” personal journey and growth to become your own version of “that girl” — in the end, it is entirely up to you.