A couple weeks may have passed since the news that shook the world broke that “The Great British Bake Off” was moving to Channel 4 but, we haven’t quite got over the news yet. Here are the 10 stages of grieving our beloved show:
1. Disbelief
Like a baker discovering a soggy bottom or an under proven loaf, the tragic news that GBBO had collapsed like Louise’s ginger bread wedding left us in shock and denial.
2. Imagining new versions of the show
Our denial turned us into TV producers as we came up with various ways the BBC could preserve the beautiful Britishness of the Bake Off. ‘Cooking with Mary’ definitely has a ring to it, whilst ‘Great British Cake Off’ is a plain rip off and cheeky middle finger to Channel 4, hence why we love it.
3. Binge baking
Once the heart breaking news had sunk in, and we accepted that it wasn’t some elaborate publicity stunt, it only seemed right to honour the show in the form of baked goods. We’re pretty sure Mary Berry was doing the same.
4. Comfort eating
It’s only logical that doing enough baking to fill Greggs should be followed by a whole lot of eating. We treated losing the Bake Off as a slightly more dignified break up; sitting in our pyjamas crying into 12 petit fours, as opposed to a tub of Ben and Jerry’s.
5. Sadness is replaced by anger, mainly towards a certain someone
When that wonderful combination of time and food had healed our sadness, along came the news that snake of the year, Paul Hollywood, is moving to Channel 4, bringing on a new wave of bitter emotion (although yet again cake proved a brilliant cure).
6. Anger turns to laughter
As it became clear that Paul had messed up more than 2014 contestant Iain who threw away his Baked Alaska, the internet does what it does best and mocked him. Tears of sadness became those of laughter as karma worked its clever magic.
7. Tearing up your Paul Hollywood poster
We can see it in his eyes and it hurts too much.
8. This could be our big opportunity
Once we’d calmed down from the roller coaster of baking emotion, we were struck with the realisation that GBBO is hiring. Hosting or judging, BBC or Channel 4, we’re not fussy and very much available. And trust us, we know our filo from our short crust.
9. Perfecting the innuendo, Mel and Sue style
Whether they make you cringe or they’re your personal highlight, the show wouldn’t be the same without them. So if we’re going to fill their shoes we need to perfect the art of the family appropriate innuendo and the subtle eyebrow raise at any mention of jugs.
10. Enjoying the last series
For the last six years, Bake Off has made us laugh and cry (Val’s farewell speech) and so, despite the whirl wind of emotion, we’re definitely going to make the most of the final series.
Edited by Nicole Swain
Sources:
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