Before you start rolling your eyes, this article will be as far from preachy as is possible when talking about vegetarianism. The guilt will be kept at an absolute minimum so hopefully youāll enjoy your bacon sandwich āonly slightly, only slightly less than you used toā. Thatās not an accidental Morrissey quote since my decision to quit meat ties in heavily with his gig that I attended in Easter. Mozza showed an 8 minute long vid of piglets being slaughtered on a screen, while he shouted murder into the mic. Traumatic yes, but itās fairly embarrassing to admit that Morrissey concert played any role in turning me veggie, so just donāt tell anyone else. Ta. Ā
Iāve only been veggie since the 2nd of May this year. It would have been the 1st but I didnāt realise that some yoghurts contain gelatine (Muller Corners need to get it together on the labelling front). Since Iāve not been veggie for long, Iāll give you a taste (pun intended) of what awaits any recent converts to the cause.
1. “But don’t you miss…”
Why do non-veggies assume that everyoneās fave food is bacon? Seriously, I liked it when I ate it but was never a must have. I donāt really mind people asking me if I miss stuff but why does it always have to be bacon? Honestly though, I have regular dreams in which I’m just sat eating a box of 20 chicken nuggets and Iāve never been once been asked how much I miss them (the answer is a lot btw, but Iām struggling through donāt worry.)
2. Meals out
āHey look, there are 2 vegetarian options on the menu!ā Yeah alright pal, you enjoy the entire menu and Iāll just stick to my designated corner. Mushroom pasta or tomato pasta? Donāt I feel spoilt?!!!
3. HIDDEN MEAT
Iāve already mentioned this but itās a particular nightmare. A veggie friend of mine once spent an entire night crying because someone covered a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, which gave the pepperoni the opportunity of a sneak attack. While I did find the reaction hilariously dramatic at the time, I now know what it feels like to be betrayed by your food and Iām way more sympathetic (Muller Corners Iām still looking at you).
4. “You won’t last”
This one is usually from relatives. Why is everyone so intent on my failure? Itās rude. How can you possibly know that I wonāt stay vegetarian? I may even go vegan YOU DONāT KNOW (ok lol I went too far, Iām not vegan)
5. “How do you stay healthy?”
Erm, I eat all my greens mate. I feel like some meat-eaters are forgetting the highly carcinogenic flesh theyāre shovelling (look I said Iād try not to be preachy but itās tough alright)…
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Edited by Sarah Holmes
Image sources:
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/1sb1i6/beyonce_delivers/
http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com
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