It feels good to be back, I’ve missed my religious readers. The blog appears to be some sort of safe place where I divulge my life experiences, and hopefully help you with yours.
Once again, I need to make it clear that I am not a doctor and most definitely not an expert, these are merely things or situations I have experienced and ways that seem to help me cope. I recognise that anxiety rears its nasty head in many forms for people that may not be the same way as me, and what helps me may not help you.
I have always been an anxious person, but recently it seems to be a lot worse and is infecting parts of my life that it hasn’t before. Some days it’s mild, whereas others it’s crippling and has led to panic attacks. Something that’s new for me is the obsessive thoughts that come with the anxiety. In situations where I have felt anxious, an intrusive thought that worsens the situation pops into my head, for example in a room full of friends, my mind tells me that none of them like me. This goes from one end of the scale to another quite scary end.
Before getting into how I am trying to overcome all of this, I want to discuss signs that someone around you may be feeling anxious. It’s important we recognise that people are feeling anxious because it allows us to adjust how we behave. Recently at an event, a friend recognised I was spiralling and responded to my behaviour thankfully.
For me it’s a feeling of tunnel vision, I feel everything to the extreme, noise around me, erratic behaviour or even someone talking. My chest quickly becomes very tight, it also affects my bowels, and my stomach is knotted. I also notice myself coming across as rude when people are talking to me, my responses are short and stressed because I’m stuck in a zone. Then all this behaviour is followed by an intrusive thought, which immediately worsens the situation. I very quickly become withdrawn from my surroundings.
My anxiety strikes the worst at night-time when I get into bed. This goes hand in hand with overthinking. It affects my sleep and I get stuck in a cycle that is very hard to get out of. For me, there are people that help me feel better, but the majority of the feelings are something I have to get myself out of, however, this is my personal experience.
When trying to tackle how to cope with this you need to recognise a pattern of when it happens, whether it is in certain situations, environments, at a certain time or maybe even around people. There isn’t always a pattern, but for me there is. For example, as I mentioned before for me it’s nighttime when I get into bed.
It’s then about learning how to either stay away from these situations or learn techniques that help you in these instances. So, let’s take my bedtime scenario, my anxiety starts to arise from thinking of things that have happened or things I need to do. Before getting in bed, I now write down everything I could possibly be worrying about and if I can, I try to write next to it why it’s silly or what I can do about it. It’s also the environment, I have found sensory elements help me such as lights, scents, and blankets. If you are prone to an overactive brain, calming music or a favourite tv show helps, it gives you something else to focus on as well as some familiarity.
Taking this even further I know that talking about certain things makes me panic, for example, university exams. I don’t talk about anything of the sort before bed because it’s a trigger. This is just one situation and there are 100s of situations I could explain and know other people deal with daily. It’s important to talk to yourself nicely, focus on your breathing, and pressure points that allow you to feel present and in a zone, calming yourself in a way where you are in control.
Anxiety is like the puppet master and cutting the strings isn’t easy, I still haven’t. Trying to learn your own triggers and what helps or worsens them is a step in the right direction.