One of the biggest lessons I have learned in my final year of university is the
importance of asking for help. For years I hesitated, whether out of pride, fear, or
reluctance, believing that seeking assistance would make me appear weak or
incapable. However, over the past year, I have realised that this belief is simply
untrue.
The Pressure of Perfection
It is easy to get caught up in social media trends, such as the “Rory Gilmore
aesthetic”, the idea of being an effortlessly high-achieving student who has
everything under control. The reality, however, is that life doesn’t always go as
planned. No matter how hard we try, challenges arise, and setbacks happen. Even
Rory Gilmore herself faced difficulties and moments of self-doubt.
The truth is that despite our best efforts, things don’t always work out the way we
hope. We may not always get the grades or opportunities we feel we deserve, and
that can be discouraging. But rather than struggling in silence, reaching out for help
can make all the difference.
Overcoming Setbacks Through Support
Last year, I had a difficult experience with a professor that left me feeling
discouraged and anxious about returning to university. During an interaction that
should have been professional and supportive, I was instead met with
condescension and unwarranted criticism. The professor’s dismissive attitude and
harsh words made me feel incompetent and unworthy of my place at university.
Rather than receiving constructive feedback, I was made to feel as though my efforts
were in vain, which shattered my confidence and planted a seed of self-doubt that
lingered for months.
Over time, I began to suspect that the professor’s behaviour was not just
unprofessional but driven by ulterior motives. Whether it was a personal bias, an
attempt to exert control, or a desire to undermine my progress, their actions had a
lasting impact on my self-perception and academic journey. My confidence and self-
esteem took a serious hit, making me question whether I was smart enough to be
studying my degree, or even if I deserved to be at university at all. Although I
understood that the situation was due to the professor’s abuse of power, it still
deeply affected me.
Despite my doubts, I knew I needed to explore my options, so I reached out to the
university welfare and support team. They were incredibly kind and reassuring,
helping me understand that the incident was not my fault. They advised me to speak
with the university’s Report and Support team, as well as other wellbeing services, to
help ease my anxieties about returning to my studies.
I wish I could say that everything was smooth sailing after that, but navigating my
final year has still been overwhelming at times. Between job applications,
assignments, and my dissertation, there have been moments of intense stress.
While I don’t have a simple answer for avoiding feelings of overwhelm, I have
learned that there is no shame in asking for help. Thanks to the support of the
university’s academic support team and my personal tutor, I am now on track to
graduate in June with a strong grade. More importantly, through seeking support, I
have regained confidence in myself and my abilities. Without asking for help, I don’t
know if I would have been able to manage as well as I have.
How to Seek Help When You Need It
If you are struggling, here are some steps you can take:
 Reach out to friends and family – Talking to loved ones can provide
emotional support and reassurance.
 Speak to personal tutors or module convenors – They can offer academic
guidance and practical solutions to your concerns.
 Utilise university services – Many universities offer support through
services such as Welfare, Report and Support, and Disability Services.
 Seek professional counselling or therapy – Mental health professionals
can help you develop coping strategies and provide emotional support tailored
to your situation.
 Join study groups or peer support networks – Engaging with others facing
similar challenges can foster motivation and shared learning.
 Establish a self-care routine – Prioritising sleep, nutrition, exercise, and
relaxation can significantly improve your resilience and ability to handle
stress.
 Break tasks into manageable steps – When overwhelmed, setting small,
achievable goals can make work feel less daunting and more structured.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. It shows resilience,
self-awareness, and a willingness to grow. Struggles are a natural part of life, but we
don’t have to face them alone. Seeking support does not diminish our achievements.
Instead, it empowers us to keep pushing forward, to learn, and to grow into the best
versions of ourselves. If you are feeling overwhelmed, know that there is always a
way forward, and there are people ready to support you. You are capable, you are
deserving, and you are never alone, so never be afraid to reach out.