Relationships can start in mysterious bits and pieces – texts that need to be analysed, looks that confuse you for days – but their ending feels like something different. Breakups are not the time for subtlety. Whether or not you end up shouting at each other and making a civil war out of the whole thing, the emotions you feel can soar in the most dramatic and turbulent ways.
To help you deal with these small apocalypses, music has been there since time immemorial. Adele, Taylor, Drake – they get it. They’ve been there. And they’re going to sing out about it. Adele’s new single ‘Hello’ brought with it a tidal wave of grief on social media, reminding us all about the power of a really good sentimental ballad when someone’s done you wrong.
So without further ado: here are the breakup songs to deal with every twist and turn you experience once it’s all over, divided into categories for your convenience.
EMOTION: Kind of wanting them back
Need You Now – Lady Antebellum
Hello – Adele
Hotline Bling – Drake
These are the songs to play when you’re considering letting your housemate confiscate your phone so you stop checking for texts. Lady Antebellum’s plaintive ballad about desperately needing the one person you know you shouldn’t contact starts off like any other radio-friendly fare, but all of a sudden it’s a quarter after one and you’re a little drunk and you’re probably having a little cry. To help expel all this melodrama, Adele’s new hit allows you to scream along about how hard you tried to make everything okay (you’ll sound like a cat wailing at another, meaner cat, but if you play the track loud enough Adele’s angelic tones will overpower yours.)
And finally: Drake’s here to help. He’s angry, of course – because although he hasn’t moved on yet, she has; in his big jumper, Drake criticises how she’s wearing less and going out more – but the song is also surprisingly soothing. He’s doing a lovely dance. He’s going to sleep on a Serena-Williams-look-alike’s bum. Despite the heartbreak, he’s having a great time, and by the end of Hotline Bling, so are you.
EMOTION: Absolutely raging
All Too Well – Taylor Swift
Rolling in the Deep – Adele
You Oughta Know – Alanis Morrisette
You’ve moved on from wanting to send a several-text long plea to your ex, and now you can’t believe you ever even agreed to date them. You’re in the ‘anger’ stage, and you need to channel it immediately. Seconds into Taylor Swift’s huge, building track about finished relationships, you’ll find yourself calming down, only to find yourself feeling totally furious by the end- – this thing was a masterpiece, Taylor sings, and you totally get it. Adele’s second offering to this playlist continues the theme of beautiful things ruined by people who are not beautiful at all, and then here comes Alanis. She’s 90s. She’s slightly bitter. She’s here for revenge. She’s here to remind you of the mess you left. She is utterly vital in your recovery.
EMOTION: Mostly over it now
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
This one needs no explanation.
Edited by Tia Ralhan
Image sources: