From sparking global interest through gaining traction on the viral app ‘Tiktok’ a new
form of psychological therapy has influenced Gen Z to change the way they go about
their lives. Taking the foundations of counter-conditioning exposure therapies,
‘Rejection therapy’ seeks to tackle social norms and help people take control of their
lives again. Whilst many live in fear each day of being their true selves due to fear of
rejection, this intriguing new concept seeks to debunk this narrative and allow people to
reclaim their lives, without fear of social rejection.
As humans, we all possess an innate desire to ‘fit in’. Every day we
unknowingly silence our own wants in order to not be perceived as weird, or an outliner,
in turn conditioning ourselves to believe our individuality isn’t right and is
something that shouldn’t be expressed. Often, we are too scared to be rejected by
others in general, in fear this would spiral into societal isolation.
I often personally withhold asking questions, or trying new things, in fear of judgment,
yet seeing this new trend, I was overtaken with a newfound confidence that maybe I
could try it too. If you haven’t come across it yet, many influencers have jumped onto
this trend of trying ‘rejection therapy’ in which they intentionally ask people for
opportunities in almost certain anticipation that they will be rejection. Subsequently, as
the theory goes, their tolerance to rejection is built up, breaking down the years of
trauma that may be associated with it, and allowing them a sense of new-found
freedom, as they no longer feel the judgment and anger that is often coupled with
rejection. This works on the principles of breaking down ‘spotlight anxiety’ where we
naturally believe that we are the centre of attention and we focus on our own behaviours
and imperfections which causes insecurities. This proves why many influencers highly
recommend this practice, noting its freeing qualities’ have ‘transformed’ their lives, as
they prove to themselves and a large global audience, that it’s okay to experience
rejection, and it isn’t the end of the world. We might be the centre of our own
perspectives, but that doesn’t mean that we have to be embarrassed.
From an evolutionary standpoint, rejection was formed as a warning to tribe members who stepped out of
line and a signal that they were not acting according to social norms. Rejection was used as
a reminder of the way you should act, breaking down individuality, and perpetuating the
idea of a standard stereotype that we all should fit. In modern society, this can be seen
as shaming those who are different, using rejection as a tool to make them conform,
which often creates a negative cycle associating this rejection with a lack of confidence
in your ‘self’ which has been shamed. Therefore it is evident to any modern viewer why this new trend is so important to helping break down social norms and help people with
their true self-expression.
Now you know its importance throughout time, it’s also useful to know some ways you
could practice rejection therapy, to get onto the path of accepting your individuality and
allow rejection to be a neutral, rather than triggering, part of your life. It’s also essential
to acknowledge that these steps shouldn’t negatively impact other people in your space,
or make you feel in danger whilst trying them out, as there are many ways to try
rejection therapy without doing so. Small safe acts you could take could be simply
asking for a free coffee or discount from your favourite shop! Or even try dancing with
strangers or try busking in the city centre, or asking someone to do it with you. Whilst
some of these may seem trivial or silly to try, the important thing is to do things you
would usually be too scared to, or things you feel that might involve rejection. Whether
you end up completing it or not, this act of taking charge of your fears can help reduce
your anxiety over time by breaking the cycle of avoidance.
One thing the recent TikTok trend proved is that often people are more willing to help
you than you think, allowing practicing rejection therapy to also open you up to more
opportunities that would’ve been impossible without you trying. By confronting rejection
more often, you will naturally realize that it’s not as bad as you initially thought, and is
only a tool of societal control. After trying rejection therapy myself, I feel more control
and a stronger grasp on the direction of my own life. This proved to me and hopefully
others too that making just a few small changes in your day-to-day life can positively
impact your mental health whilst possibly also getting you a free coffee!