“Don’t mistake my kindness for a weakness” has been a phrase that has been floating in my head as of late and I’ve been reflecting on its poignance and significance over recent weeks. My mum told me this little motto when I was small. Back then I didn’t know what it properly meant or how much I would connect to it. Ironically, though my mum forgot to tell me that the saying does in fact come from the infamous American gangster AL CAPONE.
Casting Al Capone to the side…
In other words, the saying notes that “kindness” and “weakness” are not synonymous. I think that this is a saying that rings true: a person who is empathetic, considerate of others, generous and friendly is by no means mentally less strong or capable. The saying highlights and protests the notion that being kind and compassionate towards others is not a defect, an imperfection or a limitation in an individual’s character.
Kindness does not equate to weakness.
In today’s world, the word is often thrown around as an insult, “oh you’re too kind you are”, what I struggle to understand is the negativity affiliated with being a kind individual. If anything, there is not enough compassion and empathy in the world, so why is it discouraged and used as a criticism?
Kindness is not a flaw. It should not be perceived as a flaw.
It is certainly viewed as an undesirable trait and a dislocated attribute from the business domain, the workplace and leadership roles. But why is it that kindness is viewed as a weakness in the workplace? I think that TV series such as The Apprentice and films such as The Wolf of Wall Street have a part to play in the ‘kindness as weakness’ notion. Both shows reaffirm that to be successful in the business sector you must be cut-throat, selfish and rule with an iron fist. Kindness is not seen as a desirable attribute to possess in the business world.
However, I disagree, kindness does not make you indecisive, soft and incapable of making business decisions. Kindness is one of the most powerful traits a person could possess.
Our need for kindness:
In the news and in the media, daily we are bombarded by depressing and incomprehensible stories, reinforcing to us all the hatred, hostility, indecency, selfishness, thoughtlessness, and cruelty of the world.
In this world that we are living in the hatred that is present overshadows and blocks the goodness, decency, warmth and tenderness that we have within ourselves. We need kindness to counteract the negativity of the world.
I think that we all need to try harder, especially in today’s world in which there is a lot of negativity, uncertainty and angst to push ourselves to do kind acts in order to spread light and life to others and ourselves.
There are so many good people out there who spread kindness wherever possible. But we all need reminding that a world where people have more time, more love, more generosity, more empathy, more patience and kindness is a more beautiful place.
People lead busy lives, so often we get so wrapped up in our own self that we forget the importance of spreading kindness daily. There is always time to be kind-hearted, compassionate and thoughtful. There is always space and time to be kind and express kindness and love to loved ones and strangers alike.
To round up this reflection on kindness, I wanted to finish by writing down some quotes about kindness.
The first one comes from the incredible Maya Angelou who if ever there was an individual to embody the word ‘kindness’ she would be the person. Funnily enough, my mum also told me this one. She states:
1. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”
Secondly comes Sophocles (one of the three great Greek tragedians) who remarks that:
2.“kindness gives birth to kindness”
Thirdly, the 14th Dalai Lama:
3.“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible”
Lastly, and by no means least, a quote from the late Caroline Flack:
4.“In a world where you can be anything, be kind”
What I wanted to spotlight this week was the misconception of kindness as a weakness, but instead to highlight its power. Moreover, the importance of always striving to spread kindness to make others feel valued and loved. Kindness works in a ripple effect, by showing kindness to somebody they in turn will show kindness to someone else. What better thing in life is there than this?