Before I moved to university, everybody told me that my relationship wouldn’t last because once I got there, I’d want that “typical uni experience” or “we’d just grow apart”. Long-distance can be a real challenge, especially when you’re juggling classes, social life, and everything else university throws at you. But what I wish I’d been told is you can have that experience alongside a relationship!
Communication is Key!
It seems so simple, right? Everyone knows communication is essential to any functioning relationship, but everyone’s style is different. For some couples, daily calls can strengthen the bond, while for others, it may appear as an annoying obligation. You won’t discover what works for you until you try, and just because one approach doesn’t fit it doesn’t mean others won’t either!
If you or your partner are feeling uncomfortable about something, don’t let it fester – ask for what you need! This might involve seeking more reassurance or adjusting your communication frequency, it’s all about trust. Even if you don’t fully understand their discomfort, it’s important to them, so it should matter to you too. You have to be open about your feelings, even if you’re worried it will hurt theirs.
Social Media’s “Perfect” Relationships
Social media often portrays long-distance relationships as perfect, showcasing cute facetimes and surprise gifts or visits. The reality is, there will be argumentative phases or communication lulls, especially when you’re both leading busy lives. It’s easy to feel pressure from these idealised representations online, but it’s also essential to set realistic expectations. Managing the costs of travel and surprise gifts can often feel unaffordable, especially when it seems like everyone online is effortlessly doing it. This can make these expenses feel like the bare minimum for long-distance relationships. However, there are plenty of ways to maintain your connection without breaking the bank.
These are just a few tips from my personal experience in maintaining a relationship whilst at university:
Schedule Visits
Plan visits ahead of time so you always have something to look forward to. Whether it’s just a day or two together, or scheduling dates during holidays, having those visits on the calendar can make a big difference.
Sharing a joint calendar
Personally, this was the biggest game changer for me. Having an online calendar allowed us to see when the other person was busy. If they hadn’t replied all day and I was feeling insecure, I could easily reassure myself by looking at the calendar – it helped me remember they are also tied up with commitments. Plus, it’s easy to plan surprise visits!
Remember the distance is temporary
Remind yourselves this won’t last forever, keeping a positive mindset is so important. Speaking about your future plans may also help strengthen your commitment to one another.
Stay busy
Keeping yourself occupied can help combat that feeling of loneliness. Engage in socials, hobbies or time with friends! Just remember to schedule a virtual date night or call every so often so neither of you feel neglected.
Budget wisely
When it comes to travel and gifts, your bank can take a significant hit. However, there are plenty of creative, budget-friendly ways to show you care! For example, handwritten letters or sharing cute virtual messages can make a big impact. Additionally, splitting costs doesn’t always have to be 50/50; if one of you is at uni while the other works, finding a different way to divide expenses can work better for both of you.
Virtual Dates
When 90% of your communication is virtual, it can become repetitive quickly. My favourite way to combat this is planning fun virtual dates. Here’s a list of my favourites you may want to try:
-Movie marathons
-Book club for two
-Online game night
-DIY craft night
-Virtual wine or beer tasting
-Cooking challenge
-Virtual escape rooms
Everyone’s university experience and relationships are unique. What works for one couple might not be effective for another. It is important to stay positive, be willing to experiment, and most importantly don’t give up on your relationship just because it gets challenging!