Female friendships are one of life’s greatest gifts. They provide so much light and mounts of
joy into our lives which nothing else could ever replace or replicate. However, they are
somewhat rare and not the easiest to come across. Especially venturing into adulthood, I have
definitely noticed it is growing harder and harder to form these connections. I do however
think this is perfectly normal, and there are several reasons why. I am going to be listing them
for you and hope it provides come clarity over the fact that you are not alone!!
I think the first factor is simply a difference in interests. When we were young, our interests
were not exactly vastly complex. They consisted of perhaps what sports we liked to play,
favourite movies, music etc. But as we grow so does the amount of complications in life.
While these things are still important, strong friendships rely on much more than your
favourite pop singer. A plethora of your interests must align for the friendship to stimulate
interesting, engaging conversation. For example, I am interested in pop culture and love to
talk about the goings on of that world. Therefore I tend to gravitate and find conversing with
others with the same interest to be significantly easier as they tend to understand references I
make, jokes etc. I do value the importance in being friends with women who have different
interests to you as there is always something to learn. However, I think it does provide a
natural pool of comfortability when you know you share core interests.
Although it pains me to bring up in relation to a female-centred issue, it is an important factor
when forming bonds with other women. Men, and how women position men in their lives,
play and extremely important role in how your friendship is going to play out. It is a
complicated, multi-fascinated issue however I am just going to summarise it and point out
why it is such a deciphering factor when making friends with women, especially new ones.
Off the bat, I have noticed that when you meet girls for the first time, there are certain
specific topics or questions you will be asked about. Many of times questions like ‘do you
have a boyfriend’, ‘are you interested in anyone’ etc have been asked upon first meeting.
Although it can be used as an easy icebreaker, I tend to find that this topic becomes the basis
of every conversation for the foreseeable. This tends to lead back to the fact that men are the
centre of their lives, their source of validation and general happiness. This is why your
friendship will never be enough to satisfy them, you are simply just there to exist as a
placeholder while they don’t have a boyfriend or aren’t with their boyfriend. A good gossip
every now and then is necessary and always needed however if you find that every
conversation you have with a women whittles down to men, I don’t personally believe it will
ever result in a deep, more than surface level friendship.
Finally, but my most valued trait in a friendship is sense of humour. This is something I think
we all take massively for granted especially when entering later stages of my life. It is
incredibly rare to find so when I do I treasure it dearly. Everyone’s sense of humour is
different, whether its dark, sarcastic, light & fun- I have come across friends who find
completely different things funny. However, I believe it to be the foundation for a long and
fulfilling friendship. We all have come across or are perhaps friends with certain people who
we know to never make a specific kind of joke around. Not that that is terrible nor necessarily
hard, you lose out on such a magical part of friendship- which is being able to laugh together.
Humour is what helps us navigate the darkest times in life; it has the power to bring light and
hope, even when it feels like there’s none to be found. Therefore it is so crucial to surround
yourself with people that make you laugh. Not sharing the same sense of humour, especially
in a group of women or a female-dominated environment, can feel incredibly isolating. You
might find yourself constantly holding back, worried about being judged, which makes it
hard to truly be yourself. This is why, when forming new friendships with women, it’s
essential to pay attention to this connection. A shared sense of humour can bond you in ways
you wouldn’t expect—never underestimate the power of a good laugh.
Navigating making new friendships, especially at such an old age may feel daunting and out
of your comfort zone. However, once you figure out the kind of women you want in your life
it becomes so much easier and leaves less and less room for error. Hopefully this article gave
you a starting point, these are just suggestions of some things to look out for, there is of
course an endless bound of factors that go into making friendships work. But my best advice
is to be yourself and you will attract those meant for you <3