Opening the front door of my second year student home, I was greeted by the near hysterical shrieks of my new housemate Charlotte.
“Well, I’m not touching them!”, came the cry down the hallway.
It’s 5pm and, still reeling from a particularly traumatic seminar, I walk in to find my three female housemates gathered in the kitchen inspecting the floor with a look of horror upon their faces.
Peering closer, I realise they are, in fact, staring at a mysterious, greyish garment.
“What the –?” I begin, before realising said garment is actually a pair of male boxers. Boys underwear. In our spotless kitchen. Just to clarify, they didn’t even look laundered. That, unfortunately for me, is the harsh reality of living with boys.
Of all of the four girls in our seven-person student house in Lenton, I really should have been the most prepared. A sister to two 6 foot beasts (otherwise known as Nat and Luke), I’d grown accustomed to the unpredictable and often feral behaviour of male adolescents. But back at home in Lancashire there was always a parent to pick up their mess…
If our first few weeks cohabiting have proved anything, it’s that even I was not prepared for the messy, chaotic and downright disgusting antics of Marcus, George and Jamie. Of course, there are some perks to living with boys – somebody to take the bins out, at least – but it certainly is a challenge.
Any first year female students thinking of cohabiting next year with both sexes should perhaps take note of the pros and cons listed below before signing on any landlord’s dotted line.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Pros:
Let’s Face It: It’s an Adventure
There’s no denying that Marcus, George and Jamie bring a lot of fun and spontaneity to our home. Even now, as I work away at the kitchen table, Marcus is sat beside me, ordering £50 worth of bed sheets for the den he plans to construct in his room. Bizarre? Perhaps. But, we’re all eagerly awaiting the final result.
The DMCs
It is during our post-night out chats that the boys really cement their status as, basically, honorary girls. Boys are much more open and honest, making for some intriguing and hilarious deep, meaningful chats. Furthermore, they offer that invaluable male insight into the love lives of my female housemates.
They Are Tidier Than Girls
Thanks to extensive cosmetic products and those daily, sartorial meltdowns, a girl’s boudoir is much messier than any boy’s. Lipsticks, bottles of mascara and high heels are to be found all over our house yet, there is rarely trace of male presence in the house (underwear-gate, aside).
A Girl’s Bedroom
Cons:
They Eat All of Your Food.
It is no secret that the male appetite knows no bounds. Simply leaving your food unattended for mere seconds attracts a trio of scavengers. Whether it be your expensive orange juice or leftover pasta, rest assured it will not survive long in a house of boys.
Their Primal Habits
A perfect example; I found a disgruntled Jamie sat on the doorstep, upon leaving the house, yesterday.
“Don’t let him in!” shrieks Hannah, running from the kitchen “He needs to be house trained. He’s been pissing in the garden again!”
Yes, despite there being two adequate toilets in our seven-bedroom house, Jamie chooses to urinate outside because walking up one flight of stairs is simply “too much effort”. Astounding!
They Don’t Wash Up
On countless occasions have Charlotte, Hannah, Zoe and I found ourselves with rubber gloves and sponges in tow, scrubbing at the boys’ dirty saucepans. Each time, we vow to “go on strike”, refusing to ever wash dirty crockery that is not our own again. Each time, we are forced into submission, eventually cleaning the copious amounts of stained dishes. We cannot leave the sink dirty. We know that. Most importantly, the boys know that and thus they will always win.
Our kitchen (on a GOOD day)
Ultimately, living with boys is an unforgettable experience, just make sure you’re prepared!
Edited by Mackenzie Orrock
Images: Author’s own.