The world is slowly changing and women empowerment is growing stronger and stronger. We have a growing array of strong and influential female role models such as Michelle Obama, Queen B, AOC, Ruth Bader GinsburgâŠ. the list goes on.
Yet, as much as we preach about girl power and treating people with kindness, there is still this taboo and shaming of girls who are in a ‘friend with benefits’ situation.
It stems from the old school patriarchal mindset of âgirls shouldnât be involved in that kind of behaviourâ; itâs either a relationship or nothing. Or that we need to be put into the categories of a ârelationship kinda girl’, or a âfriends with benefits kinda girlâ.
But letâs face it, we shouldnât feel any pressure to label ourselves as one or the other, it’s 2021, we can be and should be whomever we want.
I branded myself in the ârelationship onlyâ category, but with a severe change of circumstances and life hitting at the worst possible moments, things changed.
Gradually, I accepted the âtransitionâ and my mindset towards it changed as I became more confident within myself and who I am as a person. I didnât think you can be both types of girls and that we must pick who we want to be. But in reality, why do we need to pick? Why canât we just be who we want to be?
It should be what we all do, and not feel ashamed or judge someone for wanting something with no strings attached. Weâre young and in control of our own life, we should be experimenting with what we like and what we donât know; its part of the thrill.
I know many people, maybe including yourself, who might think of sleeping around or casual hookups as âdirtyâ or âwrongâ. When in reality, when you strip it down, what is so wrong with it? If both sides are on the same page and set clear unambiguous boundaries, whoâs to say that it is a bad thing? I think the fear of being caught or talked about as the âgirl that sleeps aroundâ is so forced upon us by society, that it is looked down upon; even though for guys itâs fine and even something celebratory.
A girl that doesnât have sex isnât frigid or prudish, in the same way, a girl who sleeps with different people isnât a slut. Weâre only judging what weâre not used to ourselves and are scared of when in reality we shouldnât worry about what other people think or do. Itâs their life, not yours. We find ourselves in this comparative mindset when we ourselves are insecure about our own lives. So next time you find yourself judging a fellow girlfriend based on their sex life, think twice. You do you and theyâll do them; thatâs all there is to it.