In an almost routine-like manner, clubbing exhibits a few key rituals that are telltale of when you’ve had a classic night out with the girls. Here is my take on how a clubbing night usually plays out—take it from someone who’s lost count of how many times they’ve been clubbing.
1.PRE-DRINKS
Everyone knows that the start of a good night out usually starts with a solid pre-drink’s session. You’ve planned out your schedule so you can fit in a shower, time to find your outfit, do your makeup and a quick power nap if you’re smart. Pre’s usually consists of drinking just the right amount so that queuing seems tolerable, so you don’t feel the cold and so you don’t have to end up buying more shots at the club. The music is almost always 10/10 because your friends are on aux, and you can go to the toilet without worrying there’s no toilet roll. You’re usually sober enough to book an Uber, or if you’re feeling particularly brave and live relatively close to the club—you walk it (something you’d never do if you were sober).
2. THE QUEUE
It’s at this point in the night you start to gain a bit more understanding of just how drunk you are. You’re either the friend telling your friends to act normal when they get to the front, or you are the friend getting told to act normal, so you get in. Usually, you bring your rum and coke with you so you can drink in the queue, which you conveniently throw away before you get to the front (not before getting the last few sips in.) This is a good point to make some new friends, hand out your snaps and make casual drunk conversation. Sometimes you and your girlfriends meet a group of cute guys, who you then lose as soon as you get into the club and spend the rest of the night hoping they’ll pop up.
3. THE TOILET BREAK
At least once a night, you feel a reassuring tap from one of your friends or make synonymous eye contact that reads “time to go to the toilet.” You hold each other’s hands as you make your way through the sweaty crowd and enter the bathroom to find a lively yet chaotic environment. A classic moment in womanhood—this is your chance to tell a girl she looks pretty, that her boyfriend isn’t worth it, or hand a piece of toilet tissue under the stalls to anyone who asks.
4. TRIP TO THE BAR
You’re starting to feel the effects of the alcohol wearing off, and you need a few jägerbombs in you to continue the night. You push through a surprising amount of people before either choosing to write down how many shots you want in your notes app or screaming it to the bartender. You’re usually drunk enough now to not worry about saving money, so you end up buying a round of shots for whoever you’re with. If you’re lucky, your friends will do the same. Sometimes you’re lucky enough to come across the cute group of guys from before, or someone else entirely (which ends up in an exchange of looks between your girls, so they drag you away.)
5. AFTER THE CLUB
This is the point where you feel uncontrollably hungry, and someone makes the mistake of saying the word “McDonald’s”. Usually, it’s the thought of the food that makes you determined enough to walk an extra 5-10 minutes and not want to go home. You start to feel the cold and check how much an Uber is to get home—and if you’re lucky enough, you won’t be waiting 10 minutes to ‘find a driver’ or looking at the price of £15 because the demand has increased. Finally, you’ve eaten, got into the Uber and tried not to fall asleep—so you make a mental note of drinking a lot of water and taking your makeup off when you get home. Sometimes the best nights end with keeping your makeup on and passing out on your bed, something I’m all too familiar with.
Clubbing is an integral part of the uni experience—and even if you’re not a party person yourself, you see and feel the effects of it all around you. Whether it’s people in your accommodation hosting pre-drinks whilst blasting music, seeing groups of people queuing up outside the club, hearing your flatmates come home at 4am or watching people come into lectures half asleep; clubbing is all around us.