University is an eye–opening experience for everyone. Going from being surrounded by people from the same town or city to being thrown into a huge mix of groups and identities is so overwhelming. Universities, particularly Russel Groups, tend to be institutions which aren’t necessarily places where working-class people always feel accepted and I have felt alienated at times due to an upbringing that is out of my control.
Before coming to uni, I grew up in what’s considered a ‘normal’ family. I lived in a small terrace in a nice part of Manchester. I attended a grammar school until year 11 and then went on to study my A levels in a college close to the city centre. I have always been incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful family around me, and despite the financial struggles that we have faced, my parents have always tried their best to provide for me and my sister.
As soon as I moved into my uni accommodation, I felt an overwhelming sense of freedom. Despite gaining so much experience from my time at college, this was a completely new environment for me. I had never had my own room or had to be completely responsible for myself. The first couple of months were very eye-opening for me. I was very aware of my financial background, and that I am not particularly privileged. Many of the people I met, however, were less aware of the privilege they came from.
It became clear within the first 10 minutes of conversations at pres that many people underestimated just how privileged they were. By the 6th time of being told that I was “so lucky” to receive the maximum maintenance loan, I was exhausted. No one seemed to grasp that I was getting more than them for a reason. It was very difficult initially for me to find my place at uni as a lot of the people I talked to were so different from me. Although most people I’ve met at uni have been nice people, sometimes I have found it very difficult to relate to them.
Before coming to uni, I had never met anyone from private school, and the majority of the people in my life weren’t Tories. To go from this to being surrounded by people who have grown up more privileged than me, with prejudice towards the working class has been honestly frustrating sometimes.
To anyone in the same situation as me, I have some advice.
The most important thing that I have come to realise is that it’s okay if some people don’t relate to your experiences. Not that I exclusively make friends with working-class people! My friends from uni and home are all from different backgrounds, which is important in friendships.
But what I mean is that people don’t have to 100% understand what you’ve experienced to still be a good friend. Sure, their parents may fully financially support them at uni, and they may have gone to private school or never had to work and save up, but all that matters is that they’re a good friend.
Also, something I have struggled with is catching up with my classmates who attended private school, as often they have been taught essay skills, and have been more prepared for uni. In this case, I seek help from my lecturers, personal tutors, and friends, they’re there for a reason!
University is a place where we learn so much about ourselves, but also other people, it’s such a diverse environment and open conversations or discussions about ourselves like these are vital in developing as people. Talk to your friends about your experiences!