As young girls, many of us were taught to prioritize being polite, avoid confrontation, and even shrink ourselves in situations when we are uncomfortable. However, there comes a point when we need to get rid of the “I’m just a girl” excuse and step into the role of being a grown woman. This shift can be applied at the doctor’s office, leasing companies, at work, and even in social settings. Here’s a breakdown of what self-advocacy looks like in those spaces.
Doctors Office
Navigating the medical world can be intimidating, especially when you feel your concerns aren’t being taken seriously. Many women–especially women of color–have stories of their symptoms being brushed off or minimized by doctors. This is where self-advocacy becomes important. Asserting yourself here means trusting your knowledge of your own body, pushing back against dismissal, and asking specific, targeted questions: “Can you explain why you think this test isn’t necessary?” or “What are my other options?” If you’re still not satisfied, getting a second opinion is your right. Doctors are experts, but you are the expert of your own health.
Leasing Office
Anyone who has rented a home knows the frustration that comes with dealing with leasing offices. Whether it is an issue with unsolved maintenance requests, negotiating terms of the lease, or pricing on utilities/rent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Learning to be assertive and understanding the rights that you have as a tenant can go a long way. When it comes to young college tenants, leasing offices tend to try and take advantage of the naive students who don’t know anything about rental properties. Make sure to check for flooring issues, broken appliances, and bugs (I personally have dealt with all three). Rather than sitting back and accepting what’s going on, make sure to document all interactions, including emails, voice recordings and pictures.
At Work
The workplace can be a tough area for young women when it comes to promotions, raises, or just being heard. Standing up for yourself professionally requires preparation and confidence; if you have an idea, say it! When asking for a raise or pushing back on a heavy workload, focus on the accomplishments you’ve made throughout the company to back yourself up: “Since taking on this new project, I’ve increased our team’s efficiency 15 percent.” Remind yourself that you were hired for a reason, and the worst they can say is no.
Relationships
Healthy relationships are built on communication and respect. Although this is a two way street, if you find yourself suppressing your own wants and needs, you have to be honest and specific with your partner about what is going on. The expectation that someone is going to read your mind is hurtful and unproductive on both ends. When talking about strangers in uncomfortable situations, a straightforward, “I’m not interested,” or “That’s not appropriate,” leaves little room for misinterpretation. We are conditioned to laugh it off or deflect, but it is never your responsibility to prioritize someone else’s comfort over your own.
“I’m just a girl” may be a running online joke, however when you really think about it, speaking up for yourself is a commitment to your own wellbeing. In your early twenties, it can be hard to have that voice and stand up for yourself, but I know and you know that you are capable and worthy of commanding respect. You earned it!