(TW: sexual abuse and violence mention)
Throughout the years, sexual abuse has gained traction over social media and other platforms, especially with the “Me Too Movement,” but narratives of male victims have often remained in the shadows until recently. The complex case of Lyle and Eric Menendez has come back to the spotlight after Ryan Murphy’s new Netflix show, Monsters, came out, which has been challenging the narrative of social perception of masculinity and victimization towards the male gender. (This is not an article to say what victims [male or female] have it worst, but to bring to light male victims of sexual abuse).
Understanding Male Victimization
I had the opportunity to interview someone on this topic to understand more about the male perspective on this topic. The interviewee would like to remain anonymous:
“What are your thoughts on the stigma surrounding men and the socialization of sexual abuse?”
Anonymous: “Statistically speaking, women are sexually abused/assaulted at a much larger rate than men, but I do not believe men report it as often for whatever reason.”
“Why do you believe men don’t report it as much as women do?”
A: “Men typically internalize these feelings and often if brought to light, men will be viewed as ‘gay.’ At least that was the case when I was growing up.”
If you don’t mind me asking, have you ever been sexually abused?
A: “I was sexually abused twice in my life–once by an older woman and another when I was six by a babysitter. Neither one of those were reported by me, because others who knew what happened down played it. It’s a huge problem in the male community and I feel many do not take it seriously. Look at the comments when teachers have sexual relationships with students. Where’s the outrage when a 24 year old female teacher sleeps with her 16-year-old male student? Society thinks it’s funny and will high five the teenager, but that’s still assault.”
“Do you believe there’s a double standard when it comes to sexual abuse towards men?”
A: “There definitely is a double standard. Using the same example I previously used: the attention and outrage that would happen if it was a male teacher and a female student would be swarming the media.”
Traditionally speaking, discourse on sexual abuse has been centered around female victims, leading to a misconception in our society that men are less affected or less deserving of empathy. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), when it comes to sexual harassment, assault or abuse, men are taught not to identify as victims. “Men tend to be taught to suppress emotions, avoid vulnerability, and not ask for help. Men may feel the need to be silent about their abuse because of the internalized belief that men can’t be victims, or that men should not express weakness” (NSVRC). This is much like what the interviewee said. Be the change.
The Menendez Brothers’ Story
Lyle and Eric Menendez captured the eye of the media after the 1989 shotgun murders of their parents, Jose (a major name in Hollywood entertainment) and Kitty Menendez at their Beverly Hills home. In my opinion, the Menendez brothers still have one of the most highly publicized trials in American history. During these trials, the brothers revealed that their father was severely sexually abusing them and their mother was a bystander to this said abuse. Not only were these revelations crucial for their trial, but they struck controversy about abuse within families and male victimhood.
For more information about the Menendez Brothers’ Trial, click here.
Today (Oct. 24. 2024), the Los Angeles County District Attorney, George Gascón, is suggesting a resentencing for the brothers’ case. “We are going to recommend to the court [on Friday] that the life without the possibility of parole be removed and they would be sentenced for murder,” which would be a sentence of 50 years to life, Gascón said at a news conference Thursday. But because of their age–they both were under 26 at the time of the crimes–they would be eligible for parole immediately, he said.” (ABC News).
Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story and its Controversy
The new Netflix show, Monsters, examines this case through a different set of eyes, leaving questions open to the Menendez brothers’ credibility and their reasoning for the murder of their parents.
Is this show fact? fiction? Or dramatized? According to Erik, the show was just “blatant lies.”
Synopsis of the show: “Streaming on Netflix now, Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story tells the story of two brothers who killed their parents on Aug. 20, 1989, and the events surrounding the brutal slayings; both were convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole” (Netflix). So, why was this show so far from the truth?
Erik takes to the stand (see what I did there?) that the show inaccurately depicts his brother, Lyle. He goes on to explain that the caricature of Lyle is “ruinous.”
“It is sad for me to know that Netflix’s dishonest portrayal of the tragedies surrounding our crime have taken the painful truths several steps backward–back through time to an era when the prosecution built a narrative on a belief system that males were not sexually abused, and that males experienced rape trauma differently than women.” – Erik Menendez.
Here are some more similarities and differences between the series and the brothers’ real life!
- Similarities:
- Lyle Menendez did, in fact, wear a Toupee, because he started to go bald at a young age.
- Erik Menendez wrote a screenplay with his friend about a teenage boy, who killed his parents.
- In the show, the brothers and their parents went on a shark fishing trip before the murders, which also happened in real life.
- Differences:
- The series hints at a sexual relationship between Lyle and Eric Menendez, however, Robert Brand, author of The Menendez Murders, said that this is completely false.
- In the show’s second trial, it shows how Lyle Menendez was not “allowed” to testify, however, he himself chose not to testify after recorded phone messages were released without his consent.
A More Inclusive Understanding?
With the Menendez Brothers’ case in the spotlight again, it has started to push society into the light of the victimhood of men who have been sexually abused. Abuse goes beyond gender, financial status, and societal norms, and since society made the stigma surrounding these victims, it’s up to society to change it. Recognize and support all survivors and their journeys.