Out of State College Experience

Moving away to college can be one of the most intimidating and scary things we will go through in life. At least for me it was. I was born and raised in New Jersey in the same town my mom and dad grew up in. My entire family lives there. I love my home and I love my friends and family. However, as college approached, I knew I wanted to attend college out of state. There was no particular reason why I wanted to move away for a few years, I just wanted to experience life away from everything and everyone that I have known my whole life. To build a name for myself where no one knew me. 

In the summer of 2019 I had no clue how scary it would be watching my parents drive away while I was left alone in my dorm. I remember during the first few months of school I kept thinking to myself, “I am alone. Alone in Norfolk, VA and my family is six and a half hours away from me.” One night, I’m sleeping in the room next to my parents, the next night I’m in a dorm with a stranger next to me. Granted, she ended up becoming one of my best friends and now I am a senior and still talk to her every day. But no matter how close I became to my roommate, no matter how many friends I made, I still missed my family like crazy. So here’s how I survived college being so far from home.

The first thing that really helped me adjust to college was joining clubs. I needed to find my “home away from home.” During freshman year I joined a sorority and signed up for Her Campus. Not only did this give me a sense of belonging, but I truly found some of my best friends by putting myself out there and becoming involved on campus. I truly urge anyone and everyone reading this to step outside of their comfort zone. By doing this, you might find your lifelong best friend, someone to cry to when you’re having a horrible day, or people who will make you feel less alone.

Secondly, figure out your routine. Being away from my family and friends made me realize that I relied on them for structure and routine in my life. All of a sudden we get to college and we don’t have someone to remind us to put our laundry away or do our homework. I found it very useful to physically write stuff down in my planner and cross it off. Class at 8:30, gym at 10, and lunch with my friends at 12:30. By doing this, I found structure in my life on my terms. This also prevented me from slacking off in school. Half of the battle being away from home is discipline and structure. College is a key time to push yourself mentally and physically. Do the things that once made you tell yourself  “I will never be able to do that”. 

No matter how comfortable I became with living on my own, I still call my parents and sister everyday. Sometimes, no matter how much we do not want to admit it, we just need to hear a familiar voice. I am a senior in college, 21 years old, but I will still call my mom every time I feel slightly congested or upset about some random minor inconvenience. But it’s okay that I do that. We cannot expect to move away to college and become Miss Independent overnight. It is completely normal to miss our family, and it is totally valid to call them every day. It is also okay to not call them every day. We get busy and lost in our own lives and sometimes we mess up so badly that the last person we want to speak to is our family. However, being so far from home means we have to put in extra effort to keep relations with all the people we moved away from. 

College is scary. It is normal to feel overwhelmed with emotions and it is normal to have difficulties while adjusting. However, college is a time when we bloom to become the people we’re meant to be. You will learn so much about yourself during these four years. Don’t let the fear of being away from family be the reason you don’t step outside of your comfort zone.