I hate conflict. The queasy feeling I get in my stomach when I have to confront someone or something by myself steers me clear away from all confrontational situations. In college, we are put in situations we sometimes can’t control. Unfortunately, these situations are more than likely to be brushed off instead of dealt with head-on.
The dilemma of roommate conflict can leave a nasty taste in your mouth if you have been negatively affected by it. You try not to let the conflict get out of hand, but soon realize it is too far gone for you to control. In dealing with these situations it is important to follow the key rule of respect. Even if it doesn’t turn out like you wanted, never attack another person’s respectability. Here are four ways to appropriately and maturely handle roommate conflict.
Give Some SpaceÂ
Walking away from conflict can sometimes resolve the issue. If the conflict is getting too intense, you should leave, reflect, and re-group. It is better to leave than to react, especially in fear of saying something you might regret later. Either you or your roommate leave the room for an hour or two just to ease the tension, with the hopes of eventually agreeing on how to solve the conflict.
Talk It OutÂ
As cliche as this may sound, talking out your problems is often forgotten, even though this would be the first step into appropriately fixing conflict. Set up a place and time that works best for you and your roommate.Â
Try to find somewhere that is neutral that way you both feel 100% comfortable when sharing your feelings. Be understanding about each other’s feelings, and always remember to be respectful. Expressing your feelings in a new environment can be a huge factor in getting rid of the conflict.
Build A Relationship
Building a relationship with a roommate doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, but this does mean that you should try to get to know them better. If there is an event on campus, ask if they want to tag along. If you’re grabbing something to eat, ask if they would want to go. If you are planning to have a study session in the library, ask if they would be willing to join. Small gestures like these allow the opportunity to build a welcoming relationship.
Involving the RA
Involving the residential assistant (RA) would be the last resort in handling roommate conflicts. Don’t automatically think that this is negative though; having another point-of-view to mediate can ease the tension as well. The RA would listen to both sides of the story, and determine how to resolve any issues. This will give you and your roommate a clean slate in navigating the issue.
Roommates can be tricky, especially when you have conflict. Remember every conflict can be resolved. You, along with the other party, just have to do the work to get it done.