Today as I feel the first sense of the seasons changing, I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed for the first time that I have really grown up. I thought of my friends, all of them, but most of all the ones who don’t know me as who I am now. I think of the people who shaped me into the person that I am becoming and who I have ever wanted to be. We live a thousand lifetimes within our life, I in a moment realized that I am so desperately sad that I have grown out of the people I love. Today I am mourning the life of a person I no longer am, the friendships that I no longer have and although I cherish the people I have now, occasionally when I see something that reminds me of those people in my life that are no longer around me circling my world, I miss them deeply.
This is something we don’t talk about much and as a junior in college with new friends and a stigma of missing those people from our past I know I rarely bring it up. College is the most freeing time of my life so far and that should be the same for everyone else. The only thing most people stray from talking about is our past. For example, several weeks ago, I deleted my favorite group message from when I was a kid, that message containing thousands of memories, the lives of the people who at one time were my closest friends, I needed storage and it did not seem to be something I needed anymore. I grieve them today. Although I love them still, I miss the people they were, the lives they were living then. I might never know them as the people they are now, we had no falling out, just personal growth. In a way, it is so beautiful watching them from afar. This is something I probably wouldn’t tell them or even my new college friends, this kind of sadness can be perceived as weakness.
This kind of grief is healthy, growth is healthy, moving on is healthy. I implore everyone to take a moment and look at the people you to love and have around, take in the season of life you are in now, do not rush to the next one. I do, however, want to foster an environment where anyone can talk about any kind of sadness they have. Talk to your friends when you miss them and remind yourself that change is okay while still moving forward. To the first-year student arriving on our campus, please remember that sometimes growth comes with pain, hence the phrase growing pains. Do not be afraid to talk to the people around you about missing those that they love. Everyone is going through the same things that is something most of us fail to remember.
