When talking about height:
If you have to hear “You’re so tall” one more time…
vs.
People LOVE to point out the fact that you’re short.
It is as if they have made an absolutely remarkable discovery. A discovery that no one has ever made before nor will ever make again.
Deciding what you look like:
Getting compared to Shaq when you play sports.
vs.
Getting compared to fun-sized candy bars.
It was funny the first time.
Athleticism:
“So what sports did you play in high school? Basketball, volleyball?”
vs.
Having to walk twice as fast as everyone else to compensate for midget legs.
“Guys, we go over this every time!”
Uncomfortableness:
Trying to shower in the residence halls? Get ready for some squats.
vs.
When your stomach touches the steering wheel because you can’t reach the pedals otherwise.
And then someone with normal sized legs drives your car and moves your seat back three feet.
Ugh, pant length:
A tailor can’t save you from the supposed-to-be jeans dilemma. You just happen to have more capris than your shorter friends.
vs.
When you have send clothes back to your grandma so she can hem everything.
This way, you don’t have to feel as bad about never contacting your relatives once you’ve gone to college.
Getting served:
No problem. You take up half the bar when you lean on it anyway.
vs.
When you’re at the bars, getting served is nearly impossible considering the bar top is as tall as your chin.
Even if you are 21, you sure don’t look like it.
Leg room:
Lol. Good one. Trying to cross your legs in a desk or just sitting on a plane is a nightmare.
vs.
Having your feet not touch the ground no matter what chair you sit in.
Swinging my legs around makes me feel like a kid again! Oh wait…
Reaching things:
Having to be a human ladder for your short friends. They ask you to get something off of a tall shelf, and they look at you like:
vs.
Having to take a running start to get onto my bed.
Workout for the day: check.
Safety:
Shorter people think it’s OK to hide behind you for some reason.
vs.
Being the token person whose safety it seems most logical to risk.
Crawling into small spaces, getting thrown in the air, squeezing between people – you name it, I’ve done it.
Authority:
People automatically look to you as a leader when you walk into a room, but really you’re just like
vs.
Being shorter than the kids you babysit.
Because they are devious middle-schoolers, they use this as a tactic to intimidate and bully you. Great.
Concerts:
You feel like a human wall to the people behind you, but you’re enjoying yourself too much to move.
vs.
Concerts are a pain in the ass.
Pray for higher ground or a very tall guy with muscular shoulders, or else you’ll miss the whole show.
Boob-in-face hugs:
It’s awkward hugging shorter people. Just pretend like it didn’t happen…
vs.
One of your tall friends and your face ends up in their boobs.
Sorry, I didn’t ask for this.
Group pictures:
All you want is a picture with your friends.
vs.
Avoiding looking awkward at all costs.