Coming home for the holidays for most of us means reuniting with hometown friends, seeing extended family, and eating good food- skip the turkey, just give me the mashed potatoes!- but what it also entails is the dreaded and infamous Hometown Hookup.
We all have our high school celebrity crush: maybe the sporty goalie on the town soccer team with the dark, curly hair, the debate team president with the nerdy glasses, or the hot, older singer in your choir that made you wonder if piano is the only thing they can play. What comes along with this canon event is, however, the sometimes dreadful, sometimes life-changing experience of seeing them over holiday breaks.
We’ve all been there: being single during the holidays sucks. Especially when your mind is elsewhere, fantasizing about the ones that got away or the people you were too scared to say “hi” to in the hallways. The worst thing you can do with this is what I like to call the O-Obsession.
Do you lay awake at night and think about them? Are you still fantasizing about the first kiss you shared? Yep. That is the O-Obsession. Getting to second base, rounding third… and then, boom. Here she comes: the worst natural disaster a girl can face. Obsessing over obsession.
The O-Obsession caters to the girl who romanticizes the little things: maybe they held the door for you, or complimented your shoes, or hearted your IG story. We’ve all been a victim of the O-Obsession. It’s not something we need to prevent- because, who doesn’t love being a Thought Daughter? It’s just something we should keep in mind as we go back to our hometown prospects.
We have three characters here: your high school ex, your long-term situationship, and the person you’ve been pining for since the end of senior year, where, miraculously, everyone at your small-town high school decided to become best friends.
First, if there’s one piece of advice to be said, from one girl to another: never get back with your ex. Think carefully: why did you break up with them in the first place? Or, with even more nuance: why did they break up with you? Because they couldn’t handle you? Because you were too much? Your much-ness will never be too much. There is always more where that comes from, and a peaked-in-high-school former lover doesn’t deserve all that you bring to the table.
Our next subject adds a new layer to this cake of love. Let’s say it as it is: your has-been almost-boyfriend is not the love of your life, especially if he wouldn’t get with you during school years. Sure, you can meet up with him in a parking lot, but let’s not make this into a cheesy Hallmark holiday special. It doesn’t have to be true love. It can just be… fun!
And, our last prospect: the one that got away. We all have one in our back pocket, who we text on late Friday nights and then forget about when we wake up Saturday. These are the most dangerous of the three, because we can never expect what can come out of it. It could be true love that has you dancing to Lover by Taylor Swift in your dorm, or it could have you bed-bound at 6 P.M. on a Thursday, cradling a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Whatever happens with this prospect, however, should have you leaving more confident than you were going into it. Applaud yourself: you just pulled your favorite prospect, and that deserves celebration.
Most importantly, though, let’s practice self love this holiday season. Whether that means literal self love (I see you, Sabrina Carpenter Juno position in Austin), taking yourself out on a date, or treating yourself to that $7 sweet treat you’ve been depriving yourself of for weeks, we need to prioritize ourselves when we’re feeling lonely. Meet up with friends, hang out with family, play with your dog… and don’t text your ex.
Or, if you do, make it worth the plot twist!