Over one hundred women ?lled the Scripps Amphitheater Thursday night to participate in the 33rd annual “Take Back the Night” celebration. For someone like myself, who knows little more about feminism and sexual assault than what I was taught in my Women and Gender Studies Introduction class, the night turned out to be a truly eye opening experience.
To start off the evening, both Title IX and The Tempo Tantrums, Ohio University?s two all female a cappella groups, performed heartfelt numbers that sent chills down my spine. Title IX started off the night with a rendition of Demi Lovato?s “Skyscraper” followed by Christina Aguilera?s “Beautiful.” The Tempo Tantrums continued the show with powerful performances of “Like a Boy” by Ciara and Adele?s “Rolling in the Deep.”
I have belted the lyrics of each of these songs countless times before, but it was not until listening to them, with the theme of the evening in my mind, that I actually heard what these women were trying to convey in their lyrics. It goes without saying that the ladies of both a cappella groups have beautiful voices, but that night they did more than just sing along with a catchy melody. They helped open my eyes to the reality that all over the world women are being neglected and taken advantage of and it is time for everyone to start doing their part to put an end to it.
The true stars of the evening, however, were Kelly Addington and Becca Tieder. The two were already friends, but grew even closer when Addington was drugged and raped by her date in their senior year of college. The crowed listened in as Addington shared every detail of her heart wrenching story with us.
Emotions hit both highs and lows as we were told how Addington began having
nightmares of being held down and rendered unable to defend herself and awoke
drenched in sweat and unable to catch her breath. After two stressful months during which the dreams reoccurred night after night, Addington took a pregnancy test which con?rmed a pregnancy which she believed was impossible. Unable to remember the night in question, she called the man and demanded answers. The man explained how after he drove her home and carried her to bed, Addington was the one who wanted to have sex.
Addington started to wonder if this was all her fault, something that most girls in her position ?nd themselves asking. The doctor told her that she had two weeks to make a decision because she was nearly three months pregnant at the time.
“I don?t get to make a choice here because I didn’t choose to have sex!” she explained.
Those two weeks came to an end and Addington found herself still unable to make a life changing decision of this magnitude. The morning in which she would decide whether or not to keep the baby she awoke from yet another nightmare. She looked down at her legs and saw the blood from the miscarriage she was having. Addington looked up at the ceiling and thanked God that this time the decision was not hers to make.
Tieder and Addington stressed to the women in the audience that in order to put an end to sexual assault we need to change the way that we think about sex.
“We must not shame people for the sex that they choose to have,” said Tieder in her closing remarks.
By sexually empowering ourselves and owning our bodies, we can hopefully put an end to the violence.
The tagline usually taught in classes aimed to educate people on the subject of sexual assault is “No Means No.” The problem with this common expression is that it allows men to keep advancing and pressuring women until we say no. “Yes Means Yes,” the expression that Tieder and Addington urged the audience to use implies that sexual advances are only ok when a woman says yes, not until she says no.
After the presentation, the women in the audience took part in a silent candle light vigil through the college gates and down Jeff Hill. After the candles were extinguished, we proudly marched across campus and reclaimed the night. Crowds of women stormed the streets chanting everything from “Hey mister, get your hands off my sister!” to “1-2-3-4 I am not your fucking whore!”
As we marched across campus the men who attended the presentation, but were not allowed to participate in the march, cheered us on and gave us their support. It was a truly amazing feeling to see all of the men support us in our mission to create a safer environment for ourselves. The parade of chanting women made its way down Court St. and men and women emptied from the bars to cheer us on and show their support as well.
The festivities came to a close and I looked around at the group of strong independent women that I had spent the past few hours with. Behind me I saw two friends hugging each other, one had tears rolling down her cheeks. The biggest piece of advice that I took away from “Take Back the Night” was that by sharing your story, you may be able to inspire somebody else to come forth and share theirs. As women we must come together and put an end to sexual assault.
If you participated in Take Back the Night and would like to share your thoughts or stories, please email hercampusohiou@gmail.com