I Watched an Episode of The Bachelor for the First Time

I’ve never really been one to watch a lot of reality TV. I watched the first few seasons of Dance Moms, I’ve seen a few Keeping Up With the Kardashians episodes, I used to watch America’s Next Top Model when I was too sick for school, and I’ve seen one episode of The Real Housewives, but I couldn’t even tell you which location. The closest to reality shows I usually get are the competition shows like So You Think You Can Dance, World of Dance, Chopped, or Project Runway. All throughout high school people would talk about The Bachelor and I constantly see posts on Twitter about it, but I’ve never actually cared about watching it. Whenever I see commercials for The Bachelor, I usually just scoff and roll my eyes at the idea that people are actually going on this show to get married and that SO MANY people love watching it. However, recently I had a conversation with a friend who confessed she only watches it because she thinks it’s funny and that it’s even funnier if she’s thinking about how serious the girls on the show and some other girls watching take it. So I decided to sit down and watch an episode. You CANNOT even begin to imagine my shock when I found out the current season is season 24. I thought the show was new within the past 10 years, but it’s been on since 2002. That’s beside the point, though. I sat down and watched the most recent episode without any actual knowledge of how the show works or who anybody is and I had A LOT of thoughts. So enjoy this unfiltered stream of consciousness of my thoughts while watching:

“Previously & on tonight:” Oh my god, what am I getting myself into?

Wow. I can’t even imagine being one of these girls.

Why are they talking about how hard it is for Peter??? He literally has a bunch of gorgeous women trying to marry him.

They’re going to frickin OHIO?! Wtf was with that lead up making it sound all exciting. Okay, I’ll give them that I’ve never actually been to Cleveland, but I’m from Michigan and

I’ve been to Ohio and driven through it all the time and I can’t imagine Cleveland is that much better than everywhere else in Ohio. 

Okay, yep, looks like a basic Midwest city.

Oh my god, he’s such a nerd. Superman? Clark Kent?

Honestly, I don’t even think he’s that cute.

Okay, so how does this work, he just picks a new girl to go on a date with every day or episode?? 

Alright, blondie, I’m sure everyone there is thinking it would be good for them to go on that date. YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL. 

Missing out on a chance with a “great guy,” but if you’re worried he won’t know you because you haven’t been out, then how can you say he’s a great guy? Because obviously you don’t know him yet either and DREAM GUY?? OH MY GODDDDDD. 

“See my heart and who I really am” I can’t. I really can’t. I’ve just barely gotten into this episode and I’m already getting so mad at this.

I hate this girl. Her voice! Ugh no. Stop screaming. You’ll be fine. Suck it up. 

“I missed you” really? Did you really though?

DID THIS BITCH REALLY JUST ASK WHAT CEDAR POINT IS? Ugh. I literally had a field trip to Cedar Point in high school. But actually, I’d want Cedar Point to shut down for me for a day.

Omg “girl dad” rip Kobe

She looks so nervous. “Wait who is it?” Her EX lmao who planned this? Also, did he know it was for her specifically out of all the girls? Why would he agree to this? I need to know how they broke up that this could be happening now.

She’s uncomfortable because it’s her ex, but I’d be more uncomfortable with all those girls recording me?

He thinks it’s cool lol just shows how different people can experience the same situation though.

So were they together when she decided to come on the show??

“Kissing her, you know, to the music”??

Is he from Cleveland? Why are they in the city hall for dinner?

Just spit it out.

“Like the singer Chase?” What other chase has there been that she feels the need to bring this up now?

Quit saying “like.”

“I think she’s doing good.” HA YOU THOUGHT

THERE’S SO MANY GIRLS. How many are on here?

Well at least Peter’s being nice about this whole situation because it was definitely a setup by the producers or something.

Alright, I see you Tammy. She’s currently my favorite.

Really, you haven’t stopped thinking about her? What about while you were on your date with the other girl. I think they said Victoria? And what about the honesty you were saying was so important?

But in a competition like this, it’s the perfect time to take out some anger with the other girls. Just saying.

OF COURSE ITS A TIE!

“We killed em” nonono it was a tie

Okay I don’t know who she is, but I support this girl for helping Shiann after she carried the team on her back.

Oooh I don’t know why but I really don’t like Hannah Ann. Just not getting a good vibe from her.

Wait wait wait. They all sit there while one girl goes off at a time?? 

“I’m not gonna sit here and let it happen.” AS YOU’RE STILL SITTING THERE

So she can just come back. Just refuse to leave?

“I’m baffled” by the fact you’re caught in a lie? Honestly, I really have no clue what’s going on, but Victoria P. definitely seems like she’s faking it right now.

“My boyfriend” oops sorry Tammy, you’re not my favorite anymore. He’s on a show with like 20 girls he’s definitely NOT your boyfriend.

This show is so long I’m only half watching and I’m just so bored I’m mostly just scrolling through my Twitter feed now. It is kinda mind numbing which I guess isn’t bad after a long day of classes.

I hope all these girls DO walk out.

Ooooh so this is why I see Pilot Pete trending everywhere. I literally had no clue who that was about.

Why does everyone on this show cry so much?

Wow, fireworks. Really? This is so cheesy

Okay, but how would she have gotten this info off her phone and said it was everywhere while she was home?? Isn’t everything super pre-filmed?

Oh, thank god, it’s over.

So as you might be able to guess, I wasn’t exactly a fan of the show. I could totally see how other people could get into it when they’re betting on who’s going to win or just hate-watching it. I did get interested for a little while towards the beginning, but the episode was SO LONG and I just didn’t care anymore once I got halfway through. I don’t think I’ll be watching another episode anytime soon.

• review
• The Bachelor