*** DISCLAIMER: Please be aware that the opinions in this piece do not reflect the official stance and views of Her Campus, Her Campus Oklahoma nor The University of Oklahoma.***
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Sex is arguably one of the greatest things ever. It’s right up there with food and Netflix. Let’s talk about the important things when regarding sex, shall we? Strap in!
Birth control
There are many forms of birth control that you can take advantage of: the pill, the IUD, the ring, the shot, the patch, etc. The pull-out method is not effective and I would not advise it as a means to prevent pregnancy. Talk to your gynecologist to see what would best work for you and your needs. Keep in mind that each has their own symptoms and side effects.
Masturbation
That’s right, I went there. Guess what! This is a subject that shouldn’t be taboo. Girls touch themselves and it feels great. The clitoris is literally the most amazing thing ever. The devil’s doorbell? Well, I don’t think I’ve ever believed in a higher being more than when I’m masturbating. Sex toys are perfectly acceptable, and you should not be ashamed to own one. Self-love is true love.
Abstinence
Your choice not to have sex is your choice. You don’t need to have sex to be fulfilled. Sure, it’s great but its not everything. Having an emotional connection is very important and if you don’t want to have sex that is perfectly okay. Some people genuinely don’t enjoy sex and they are perfectly capable of having meaningful relationships. Never feel like you have to have sex before you’re ready and never feel like you have to have sex to make someone else happy.
STDs
Sexually transmitted diseases are very real and very scary. The best way to avoid STDs is abstinence but condoms are also very effective. Same sex couples also need to use contraception in order to avoid STDs. If you are sexually active, then you should get tested at least once a year. Also, make sure to ask each of your partner’s sexual history and if they’ve been tested recently. It’s not a jealousy thing. It’s a safety thing.
Communication
Communication is key in any sexual or emotional relationship. It’s important to talk about what you want, likes and dislikes, things you want to try. This makes sex better for you and your partner. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for something. Its your body and you know what feels good.
BDSM
You’re kinky? That’s okay. Have no shame in your kink. Let your freak flag fly, if you will. I’m kinky af. Never let anyone kink shame you. One thing that you need to think about when trying new things is safety first. Research before you try anything that could be potentially dangerous and always make sure that you and your partner both know your limits. Safe words are very important. You can use colors or fruit or something crazy but make sure it’s something that you and your partner will recognize instantly and know when to stop.
CONSENT
This is easily, the most important thing in the world when it comes to sex. It is needed absolutely 100% of the time. Consent is coherent, ongoing, willing, active, ongoing, clear, mutual, and enthusiastic. It cannot be given drunk and you cannot be coerced into giving consent. Let’s be clear here: giving consent once does not equal consent every time after that. The absence of no does NOT mean yes.
Verbal consent is important.
Consent. Is. Important.