The good, the bad and the ugly. (And that guy your mom warned you about).
1. The Guy Who Lives Across The Hall
He’s like your own personal alarm clock; only it’s not a loud noise that wakes you up, but rather the stench of his dirty clothing wafting into your room each morning when he opens up his door. All in all, he’s always there when you need someone to kill the spider hiding under the bed or reach the top shelf of your closet.
2. Baked Potato Pi’s Newest Pledge
You make eye contact with him in the dining hall and truly believe he’s about to ask you…”Who do you know here”? Also, there’s about a 95% chance he has an American Flag hanging up somewhere in his dorm room. Either that or he’s wearing American Flag boxers.
3. The Lax Bro
He’s confident, yet not as overbearing as the frat guy. The odds of you spotting him wearing Vineyard Vines or Sperry’s or Patagonia is overwhelming high. He secretly loves songs like “Call Me Maybe” and will probably compare his stick to his teammates’ sticks (take that as you please)… But hey, they’re a damn good time.
4. Mr. Can I Get The Homework
This guy truly lives to bother you. He somehow always knows exactly when you’ve just finished the fifty biology questions due for class tomorrow and will barge into your room and say something along the lines of “Hey uh did you do the homework? You think I could get it?” Sooner or later you’ll freak out on him and tell him to do his own homework, but believe me, he’ll be back tomorrow asking for it once again.
5. The Worst Guy You’ll Ever Meet
He thinks the 3am “Wyd” text he sends you is both charming and sophisticated.He’ll know exactly who you are Friday night, but will somehow completely forget that he knows you on a Wednesday afternoon! His body count is higher than his IQ and he takes more selfies than Kim Kardashian. This guy sucks.
6. The Guy, Who Has A Girlfriend From Home, But Forgets Every Weekend
This guy is really quite the mystery. It’s Thursday and you’re scrolling through your Instagram feed. You see he’s posted a collage of pictures for his girlfriend’s birthday, with some sappy caption that definitely mentions the words “best friend” and “I miss you”. Come Friday night you’ll see him cozied up at the bar with Jenny from down the hall, and you’ll think to yourself “well that’s a doozy” and move on with your night. Similarly to the way his girlfriend should be doing with their relationship.
7. The Guy You Meet On Tinder
Usually, when you match up with a guy on Tinder he’ll send you some cryptic or vulgar message that makes your eyes almost roll out of your head. But this guy is different. This guy is normal. He’s charming and will suggest he’d rather text you than creepily message you on Tinder. Smooth right? There’s potential here, I swear. This could work out… as long as he doesn’t turn out to be a serial killer.
8. The Guy You Regret
It’s okay that this Brad Pitt look-alike is only a Brad Pit look-alike on a Friday night when there’s a strobe light in your face. I mean no one really has to know…take this one to the grave.
9. The Guy Who Just Can’t Take A Hint
MARKUS DO NOT TEXT ME ONE MORE TIME. I DO NOT WANT TO COME OVER AND LAY ON YOUR TWIN BED WITH YOU AND LISTEN TO YOU QUOTE SUPERBAD.
After not answering five of his Snapchat’s in a row you’d think he’d take a hint, but no. Not this guy. You have to rip the Band-Aid off; it’s the only way to get though to him.
10. Hot Guy You Sit Next To In Class
How does he make the words “Frontal Lobe” sound so sexy? You’ll probably never have the courage to say anything to him beyond asking what the homework is and all the staring you do is definitely bringing your grade down. On test day though, you feel hopeful when he pushes his answer sheet towards you and helps you out. Maybe one day you’ll ask him his name instead of referring to him as “Hot Guy in Psych”… or maybe not.
11. The Nice Guy
This guy is just so damn nice. He always has a smile on his face and gives out high-fives like it’s his job. If you see him on campus he will most definitely say hi, and he may even make a make a point to it and walk you to class. You think about dating him, but then you think about how nice he is. His poor, innocent soul can’t handle you. Leave him be.
12. The Guy Who Is Definitely Too Smart For Your School
How on earth did this guy just finish your five-page Organic Chemistry test in less than 30 minutes, without breaking any sort of sweat? This guy should be teaching the class not sitting among the students. Go and take your brainpower somewhere it belongs and leave us be, Arthur.
13. Paulo, The Hot Foreign Guy
You may have no idea what he’s saying at times but damn he is so hot. This guy will analyze your every move simply because he isn’t used to people who behave the way you do. He’ll also treat you like gold and do things like kiss your hand and call you beautiful. And then he’ll go back to where he came from and you’ll question whether it was all a dream or reality. Oh Paulo, please, take me with you.
14. The Guy You Swear You’re Going To Marry
After your first date with this guy you have your mom on the phone telling her you found the one, and you catch yourself matching up baby names with his last name. You truly believe you’re going to marry this guy, and you very well may! You also may very well find your next future husband a week later, so don’t get caught up too quickly. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.
15. The Best Friend.
He’s like home away from home and you’re not quite sure how’d you make it through school without him. You’ll complain about guy after guy to him, and he’ll diligently listen. Deep down inside you both have the burning desire to be with each other. Will it mess things up, though? I guess you’ll never know until you try.