I hesitate to call you an ex but I don’t know what title fits better. We did date for a short time, but we were so young, and so much happened as we got older.
I don’t regret you. You taught me things about myself I needed to learn. In you I saw all the things in me I needed to work on. I don’t blame you. We were both at fault. We bring out the absolute worst in each other. Which is such a shame, because we did once love each other, and so much. You were my world, I had you on a pedestal. We cared so much about each other, even too much. We lied, manipulated, and used each other. I couldn’t take the back and forth of being inseparable one week and not talking the next.
I thought the time apart when I went to college was what we needed. I thought we’d matured and could finally handle being friends. But time can’t help us. I love you, and I always will in some way. I hope life is good to you. But I don’t want you in my life anymore. I don’t want to keep trying to make it work and hoping someday it will all be okay between us. We’re toxic for each other, and I’ve finally accepted that.
I’m sorry for what I put you through. I was just as bad to you as you were to me. I don’t know how two people who loved each other could hurt each other so much and be so bad together. Our love was real and I’ll never forget the lessons you taught me. You humbled me. You made me realize what I am capable of, and made me value the good love in my life. We may be bad together, but I know you are not a bad person. You are passionate, and caring, and thoughtful, and vulnerable, and you deserve happiness. And even if I couldn’t be it, I hope you find that happiness.
HCXO,
Keri