RLCG Matt: “I’m in love with a married man”

 

RLCG: 

You say that your married man in question is “planning on getting divorced.” That’s a heavy statement. We’ll assume that he is intending to keep true to his word, but you need to be careful. Keep in mind that you’re feelings for him are clear, while his likely aren’t. Going through a divorce is difficult on everybody involved and he is definitely going to be under a lot of stress during and after. He may (and it sounds like he does) have feelings for you, but for him to go from marriage to relationship is not realistic. Clearly he wants to spend time with you, but you should remember that because your feelings are clear, you need to establish your boundaries first. Be yourself, talk with him until then, and make it clear that you enjoy being around him, but don’t go beyond that.

Don’t be an outlet or a “replacement” for his old love interest. You want to make sure that he is making efforts to be with you because he genuinely has feelings for you, not because he has a hole in his life he is looking to fill. That being said, keep in mind divorces don’t happen overnight, not just in the courtoom but emotionally as well. Feelings aside, you need to be up front with him about how comfortable you feel about spending a few days with a married man over Spring Break. Set your boundaries, and then have him show that he has genuine feelings for you before you make the jump to get heavily involved with him.