Dear RLCG,
Where can I meet the “nice guys”?
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Well, I wish there was an easy answer to this question. But in all actuality, there’s not. Why is it that college can bring d-bags out of the woodwork? Well the truth is that in large part, it’s the “d-bags” (in some cases) who know how to make the effort, while the nice guys wait politely in the corner.
Unfortunately for you ladies there isn’t some secret room where a crowd of Ryan Goslings wait to buy you dinner and read poetry and hum you to sleep. Rather, there’s nice guys out there, they’re just not as noticeable. Think about a “nice guy” you dated, knew in high school, or have always been friends with. Did he make the first move, was he friendly with you at first? A lot of times, that nice guy is afraid to. There’s a lot of inhibition out there for a guy to approach a girl. Granted, not every “nice guy” is shy, but chances are a guy who wants to take you out on a date isn’t going to hit on you at a frat party (then again, you never know). But chances are, he may not want to make the first move because he’ll assume you’re taken, he thinks it’d be weird to approach you out of the blue, or because he doesn’t know how to approach you in the first place.
With that in mind, the best way to find Mr. Nice Guy is to be open to signals. If a guy smiles at you in class or at a coffee shop, don’t be afraid to get a little corny. “Accidentally” bump into him. Reach for the sugar at the same time. You don’t have to throw your number at his face but give him subtle hints at first. Make room to start a conversation. You never know, he might be the nice guy you’ve been looking for. If a nice guy is truly enamored with you, there’s a good possibility he’s not going to be very talkative the first time you talk to him. Whereas girls often get talkative when nervous, guys tend to shut down. Who knows, try giving that cute, boring guy from your chemistry class a chance. He may turn out to be hilarious once he gets more comfortable around you.