The idea of moving to a town or city where I know absolutely nobody kind of makes me feel green around the gills. I’m a pretty obnoxiously outgoing person, so when I talk about the idea of moving somewhere new for a job, I’m often told, “you’ll have no trouble making new friends!”
Yeah, well… somewhere inside this gregarious young woman hides the shy, scared, and self-conscious little girl who wore a baby blue velour sweat suit and ratty tennis shoes almost every day and had one friend until she was halfway through high school. Little do most people know, I am actually pretty scared of the friend-making process. Do they like me? Am I talking too much? I hope they don’t think I’m weird for wearing chevron printed jeans. Do I reek of weirdness?
I’m not sure how many of you are like me. Maybe I’m really, really weird. But if you are like me, or just want some pointers on how to make friends in a new place, here are some ideas:
Meetup. Heard of it? There’s actually a pretty popular website called Meetup that allows people to both join and start “meetup groups,” which are activity groups open to anyone who is interested. The great thing about Meetup is that it allows people with similar interests and personalities to find each other. When my parents moved to Bend, they used Meetup to cultivate friendships within the community. It’s a great way to break the ice and get started!
Lifecrowd and Grubwithus. These are other social networking sites that promote the development of new friendships by teaming up with venues in town and hosting events for site members to attend. Rather than having members create their events, Lifecrowd and Grubwithus create events or you! And, in addition to creating dine-together opportunities for strangers, Grubwithus also has interest groups for members to create and join.
Try the old-fashioned way. Striking up a conversation with a stranger can be nerve-wracking, but our parents did it, and their parents did it, so why can’t we? I personally have found that casually cracking a joke or offering a compliment while you’re standing in line somewhere is a fantastic ice breaker. There are plenty of places you can go to meet people, too: a university, a park, a café, a diner, a social event… you get the idea. The key to meeting new people is putting yourself out there. You’ve got to make an effort to get to know them if you want them to make an effort to get to know you. Speak and you’ll be spoken to; invite and you’ll be invited.