Fall is just around the corner, which means we’re only weeks away from an artificially colored, orange tidal wave of pumpkin spiced-products. Already, companies are advertising their seasonal pumpkin-spiced drinks, candles, lotions, and baked goods. Unfortunately, however, for every delicious spiced treasure, there’s a food that really should have just stayed in its lane.
Kale Chips
You don’t have to be very good at math to know that this combination doesn’t quite add up.
Pasta
A suprising and unnecessary twist on lasagna.
Pasta Sauce
It’s made specifically to accompany your pumpkin spice pasta.
Hommus
Because who doesn’t see chickpeas and immediately think to add pumpkin spice?
Beef Jerky
The only thing tougher than this jerky is finding a reason to validate adding pumpkin to it.
Organic Chicken Sausage
Made from all organic pumpkin-spiced chickens. For a company called “Nature’s Promise,” this combination seem pretty unnatural, or at the very least unnecessary.
Sparkling Water
Finally, a drink for those of us who don’t want a pumpkin spice latte, but still want the world to know that we’re seasonal and festive.
Salad Dressing
Nothing says fall quite like drowning seasonal greens in this pumpkin flavored sauce.
Country Crock Spread
Is there anything more American than butter that tastes like pie?