Do you remember 10 years ago, being a super cool pre-teen, trying to figure out why 12 years old felt and looked so damn awkward? I sure do, it lasted a while.
I heard a lot of people call it “The Awkward Phase.” I always liked that term because it seemed to imply everyone had one; it’s just The Awkward Phase, and though some graced it better than others it was nevertheless a dark time for all of us. Well, in a kind of malicious way, I was pretty excited when my adorable little sister (who is six years younger than me) got into the age range when The Awkward Phase starts to sneak up. I was curious to see her try to figure herself out and eager to help her through it, being quite the veteran myself. But, the years passed, and she graced The Awkward Phase incredibly. It was like she was immune. I used to pick her up from the middle school sometimes and I began to realize, it’s not just her… All of these girls, ages 11-14ish, looked like little baby models in an almost creepy way. They had definitely all escaped The Awkward Phase.  A lot of her friends have also added me on Instagram and I was both shocked and a little disappointed to see that their accounts and their friend’s accounts are full of selfies. These kids are different than we were at their age, but they’re also a mirror to what we are now. I had to really sit down and evaluate how I feel about selfies and the kind of in-your-face confidence we blatantly accept and encourage now– because if it looks so bad on these young girls, how bad does it look on us?
I have always been kind of on the fence about selfies. I never judge when I see someone I know put one up. In fact, I usually just think, “Wow, you look great.” Yet for some reason, even on days when I look in the mirror and feel really confident and beautiful I can’t get myself to post a picture purely for that reason. The pessimist in me says,
“No one will care just to see what you look like today, they already know what you look like. They’re going to think you’re conceited.”
And underneath, it still feels selfish, even though society has told us this is okay. I’ve thought about this a lot because I really want to figure myself out and understand whether this is a problem of self-confidence or if I’m really making a genuine attempt to stay modest. It’s even been measured that pictures of your face average 10% more “likes” on Instagram than other pictures.
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At the end of the day, I think the conclusion I’ve come to is that it’s one of those “to each their own” situations, and that confidence is beautiful. If one day you’re really feeling that new lipstick or you just really like your face that day then I would love to see it too.  For the preteens, I think they need to live themselves out as kids first. Confidence looks great on everyone but the kind of brazing confidence that includes displaying yourself to the world, even just in the form of a selfie should be saved for later. Including the fact that you shouldn’t look like you’re 20 when you’re 14.  Go play or something.Â
As for myself, it’s going to take a really, really good makeup day but I might just be able to convince myself to post a selfie.
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